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Reply these questions to judge your relationship

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Reply these questions to judge your relationship

Image for the article titled Answer These 15 Yes-or-No Questions to Assess the State of Your Relationship

Photo: Pachai Leknetip (Shutterstock)

It’s really easy to judge other people’s relationships. In fact, we may not even notice it when we do. But when you spend time with a couple, their dynamics usually become apparent relatively quickly, until you think you can identify their specific problems.

But that in our own relationships? Not as much. It is difficult to gauge the state of a relationship when you are part of it for a number of reasons, including not having the distance to see both its good and its bad. Building on existing research, the psychologist Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Put together a set of 15 questions To help people evaluate their relationships and gain insight into them. Here’s what you should know.

The research behind the questions

In addition to his own insight into the science behind romantic relationships, Lewandowski based his set of 15 yes-or-no questions on the Keltner list, which was developed by baseball statistician Bill James to assess which baseball players are the best candidates for the Hall of Fame.

This may not be the most likely source material for a romantic relationship assessment tool, but that’s how Lewandowski explains it in an article in Psychology Today:

While James is a statistician, his Keltner list is intentionally unscientific. It is a collection of 15 questions that anyone can quickly answer to provide an overall assessment of a player’s worthiness for the hall. (Example: “Was he the best player on his team?“) The answers are not intended to make a definitive statement, but to force a careful weighing of the most important information.

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Similarly, Lewandowski’s list of 15 questions – each based on existing research on romantic relationships – was designed to highlight what is most important for serious, long-term, and sustained love.

The Keltner list for relationships

In order to benefit from Lewandowski’s tool, it is important to answer the following yes-or-no questions truthfully:

  1. Does your partner make you a better person and do you do the same for him?
  2. Do you and your partner both agree to share feelings, rely on each other, be close, and not worry about the other person leaving?
  3. Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are without trying to change each other?
  4. Do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity when they have differences of opinion?
  5. Do you and your partner share decision making, power, and influence in the relationship?
  6. Is your partner your best friend and are you hers?
  7. Do you and your partner think in terms of “we” and “us” rather than “you” and “me”?
  8. Would you and your partner trust each other with social media and bank account passwords?
  9. Do you and your partner have a good opinion of each other – without having an overly positive opinion?
  10. Do your close friends and your partner’s believe that you have a relationship that will last over time?
  11. Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy, and control behaviors?
  12. Do you and your partner share the same values ​​regarding politics, religion, the importance of marriage, wanting to have children (or not) and parenting?
  13. Are you and your partner ready to sacrifice your own needs, wants, and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
  14. Do you and your partner have a pleasant and emotionally stable personality?
  15. Are you and your partner sexually compatible?

Evaluation of the answers to the relationship questions

This is not a case where you will get final results by counting up the number of “yes” and “no” answers. Instead, Lewandowski says the purpose of the exercise is to not only gain insight into what isn’t working in your relationship, but what is working as well. He explains:

These questions are meant to be a self-guided tour of what relationship science knows is important in relationships – the relationship “green flags”. In other words, the best answer to any question is a quick, sure, and unreserved “yes”. When a question pauses or leads you to a resounding “no”, it is an area that needs attention and improvement.

Of course, it’s never possible to predict the future of a relationship – there are far too many other potential variables, some of which are unexpected. But the goal here is to get a better understanding of how and why your relationship is working (or not working).

Why it is simply unimaginable to not root Kristen Bell

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Why it is simply unimaginable to not root Kristen Bell

This is what she has to say about her healthy diet.
As a long-time vegetarian, she loves both carbohydrates (“My favorite food, however, is croutons. Any and all croutons. I don’t discriminate,” she told Shape in 2017) and dairy products. When I request a spinach and feta white omelette on set, I tell the caterer, ‘If you’ve added so much feta that you think,’ Oh no, I added too much feta, ‘double that Type of girl.

You will never catch her acting too cool.
That means she has to dress as a Tom Selleck, Mustache, chest hair, and anything for an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. (In which she performed a must-hear Frozen Metallica mashup.) Or celebrate her 39th birthday by sharing the fact that her daughters think she is actually an eighty-year-old.

And she can admit that her daughters are completely unimpressed by her and Shepard, so they started a one-sided competition with the Jonas Brothers. “They are very big in our house,” she explained in November 2019 of the boy bands on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. “We always try to tell our kids, ‘Look, we’re very cool, think that now, but let me tell you something – we’re really cool,’ and they say, ‘No’.”

5 issues you need to know earlier than the inventory market opens on Friday

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5 issues you need to know earlier than the inventory market opens on Friday

Here are the top news, trends, and analysis investors need to start their trading day:

1. Stock futures rise as June retail sales beat expectations

Michael Nagel | Bloomberg | Getty Images

US stock futures were higher on Friday morning, the final day of trading in the first week of earnings reports for the second quarter. Dow futures implied an opening gain of more than 70 points, while futures for the S&P 500 and Nasdaq were also in the green. A day earlier, the Dow Jones Industrial Average rose 53.79 points, or 0.15%, to close at 34,987.02. The broad S&P 500 and tech-heavy Nasdaq lost 0.33% and 0.7%, respectively. The 30-strong Dow is on track for its fourth consecutive positive week. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq are well on their way to breaking three-week winning streaks.

Retail sales in June exceeded forecasts and rose 0.6%, the Commerce Department said on Friday morning. According to the Dow Jones, economists expected a decline of 0.4%. Retail sales fell more sharply than Street forecast in May.

This week’s earnings reports were highlighted by the major US banks. Looking ahead to the beginning of next week, IBM is due to report on Monday, while Netflix, United Airlines and Chipotle Mexican Grill will publish the results on Tuesday.

2. Yellen expects further “rapid inflation” before the slowdown sets in

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen speaks during a daily press conference in the James Brady Press Briefing Room of the White House May 7 in Washington, DC.

Alex Wong | Getty Images

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen told CNBC she expected “inflation to accelerate for several months” before price pressures abate. “I’m not saying this is a one-month phenomenon. But I think in the medium term inflation will return to normal levels. But of course we have to keep a close eye on it,” Yellen told CNBC’s Sara Eisen in an interview that came after the Closing Bell aired on Thursday.

The latest consumer and producer price indices, released earlier this week, surpassed Wall Street’s expectations and showed that inflation persisted during the US economy’s pandemic rebound in June.

In the hot real estate market, this is a “completely different phenomenon” from the real estate bubble that burst around the 2008 financial crisis. However, she said, “I am concerned about affordability and the pressures that higher house prices are putting on families who are first buying a home or have lower incomes.”

3. Biden says the US will warn companies that the Hong Kong situation is “getting worse”

U.S. President Joe Biden stops at the Green Road Community Center in Raleigh, North Carolina, the United States, on Jan.

Jonathan Ernst | Reuters

The US plans to warn American companies about “what can happen” in Hong Kong as the Chinese government continues to exert influence over the semi-autonomous region, President Joe Biden said Thursday. Biden said the situation in Asia’s financial center was “worsening” and criticized Beijing for “failing to honor its commitment” to the former British colony, which returned to Chinese rule in 1997. Reuters reported that the Biden government has launched a round of sanctions against Chinese government officials for their role in cracking down on democracy in Hong Kong.

The planned measures by the Biden administration reflect the ongoing tensions in US-China relations, which were frosty even under then-President Donald Trump.

4. Intel in talks to acquire GlobalFoundries for approximately $ 30 billion, WSJ reports

The Intel logo is displayed outside of the Intel headquarters in Santa Clara, California.

Justin Sullivan | Getty Images

Intel’s shares rose about 0.6% in early trading on Friday after the Wall Street Journal reported the semiconductor company was in talks to acquire GlobalFoundries for about $ 30 billion. But the newspaper, citing people familiar with the matter, reported that Intel’s potential deal for the US chipmaker may not materialize. GlobalFoundries, owned by Mubadala Investment Company, a UAE sovereign wealth fund, had reportedly been looking into a blockbuster IPO.

Under the leadership of the new CEO Pat Gelsinger, Intel plans to invest billions in the construction of two chip factories in Arizona and put a new foundry unit into operation. As an influential company in Silicon Valley history, Intel has lagged behind Asian competitors such as Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company in recent years.

5. LA County reinstates the mandate for inner masks

A son hugs his mother as a concession worker hands out napkins and lemonade at the AMC Theater in the Westfield Century City Shopping Center in Los Angeles, California on Monday, March 15, 2021.

Bing Guan | Bloomberg | Getty Images

Los Angeles County, the largest county in the country, is demanding that people return to wearing face masks indoors as the number of coronavirus cases, fueled by the highly transmissible Delta variant, increases. The mandate, which also applies to people vaccinated against Covid, comes into force on Saturday before midnight.

LA County dropped its mask requirement for fully vaccinated individuals about a month ago, coinciding with the state of California lifting most of the pandemic-era restrictions. The district health officer, Dr. Muntu Davis said Thursday he is now seeing “significant community broadcast”. The majority of cases are recorded in people who have not received the Covid vaccine.

Overall coronavirus cases in the United States have increased recently as public health officials around the world are concerned about the Delta variant.

Correction: In an earlier version, the Nasdaq winning streak was misrepresented. It’s been three weeks.

– The Associated Press contributed to this report. Follow the whole market like a pro on CNBC Pro. Get the latest on the pandemic with coronavirus coverage from CNBC.

Use the Organizational BS Notion Scale that will help you resolve in the event you ought to stop your job

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Use the Organizational BS Notion Scale that will help you resolve in the event you ought to stop your job

Image for the article titled Use the Organizational Bullshit Perception Scale to Help You Decide If You Should Quit Your Job

Photo: fizkes (Shutterstock)

Most of us worked in a company, that is, to put it bluntly, full of shit. For those who have endured a number of these environments over the years, the ability to recognize them is almost a sixth sense. But now there’s a useful framework for quantifying office bullshit – one that will help you evaluate the types you are dealing with so you are better equipped to decide whether to stay or GTFO.

What is the organizational bullshit perception scale?

Tracking down office bullshit has always been more of an art than a science. But thanks to a study recently published in the journal Psychological reports, there is now actually a quantifiable scale that can measure whether the bullshit being produced in your office needs a shovel or a bulldozer.

This new way of measuring office bullshit, which they define as “individuals within an organization who make statements without regard to the truth,” is aptly referred to as the organizational bullshit perception scale. (Sounds like the writers themselves aren’t full of bullshit, which is always a promising sign.)

Office bullshit has three different factors

Office bullshit was found to be composed of three different factors: “respect for truth”, “the boss” and “meaningless language”. The first factor, “Regard for Truth”, is about the willingness of management to tolerate communication that disregards facts. The second factor, “the boss”, is about the willingness of managers to tolerate this bullshit, while the third factor, “meaningless language”, is about the prevalence of corporate jargon.

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As study author Caitlin Ferreira, lecturer in marketing at Luleå University of Technology, explained: PsyPost:

Together with my co-authors, we have identified three basic dimensions of OS in the workplace. The first, truthfulness, speaks to the extent to which corporate culture values ​​facts and figures when making decisions. The second dimension, the boss, speaks in favor of maintaining operational OS through hierarchical structures within an organization – suggesting that supervisors can play a key role in spreading OS. The final dimension, OS Language, highlights some of the language typically used by those who maintain OS in the workplace. This is usually an exclusive language like acronyms and jargon that often causes individuals to doubt their own understanding and otherwise prevent others from meaningfully contributing to a conversation or expressing their concerns.

The scale measures office bullshit and employee awareness of it

To test the Organizational Bullshit Perception Scale, the authors developed factors to measure these three categories and then tested them on two separate samples of employees from different industries. Although still in its infancy, the scale shows promise as it can quantify not only bullshit, but the ability of employees to see the situation for what it actually is.

Perhaps spotting a company’s bullshit helps contain it, but even if it doesn’t, understanding the framework can help you better see and better the types of situations you are dealing with to decide whether or not to save your company’s culture. So next time you’re stuck in an endless meeting, listening to your coworkers say meaningless words while your boss nods in agreement. Rest assured that what is happening is indeed nonsense.

Tesla launches ‘FSD’ subscription for $ 199 monthly

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Tesla launches ‘FSD’ subscription for $ 199 monthly

The interior of a Tesla Model S is shown on Autopilot on April 7, 2016 in San Francisco, California, United States.

Alexandria sage | Reuters

Tesla just launched a way for customers to subscribe to its premium driver assistance package for $ 199 per month instead of paying $ 10,000 upfront.

The driver assistance system, marketed as Full Self-Driving (or FSD), does not make Tesla’s electric vehicles safe without an attentive driver behind the wheel.

A legitimate owner told CNBC a notice it received from Tesla on Friday that said:

“Full self-driving is now available as a monthly subscription. Upgrade your Model Y … for $ 199 excluding taxes with features such as Navigate on Autopilot, Auto Lane Change, Auto Park, Summon and Traffic Lights, and Stop Sign Control to experience The currently activated functions require active driver monitoring and do not make the vehicle autonomous. “

While this person’s Tesla Model Y had all of the components needed to start an FSD subscription, other owners complained they had to pay $ 1,500 to upgrade their Tesla computer to the Hardware 3 or HW3 version update, which the company first presented at its Autonomy Day event in April 2019, to sign up.

Customers who previously purchased Tesla’s Enhanced Autopilot package, which is no longer sold, can subscribe to FSD at a lower price of $ 99 per month, but may require the HW3 upgrade.

In a subscription contract on Tesla’s website, Elon Musk’s electric vehicle maker warns, among other things:

  • FSD features are “subject to change, limited by region” and can only be used in Tesla vehicles that have newer hardware and autopilot technology.
  • Drivers are responsible for tolls, parking, or other traffic violations that occur in a Tesla operated with FSD features enabled.
  • Tesla can increase the price of a subscription at any time, but will give drivers a month in advance before charging them a new rate.
  • Owners can cancel FSD at any time, but the company will not prorate their monthly payment if they do.
  • Tesla may suspend or cancel a driver’s FSD subscription if they are using the technology, “for something unauthorized or inappropriate,” or for not paying.

All of the newer Teslas have a standard set of driver assistance features called autopilot. The autopilot or standard functions enable a Tesla to “automatically steer, accelerate and brake within its lane”, according to Tesla’s website.

The Premium FSD package enables more complex functions such as Smart Summon, with which a driver can call his Tesla to pick it up from a parking lot or a long driveway using the Tesla mobile app such as a remote control.

Tesla has also promised that drivers with FSD will soon have a feature called “Autosteer on city street”. But the company is way behind its original and even revised goals of delivering a sophisticated “Robotax”.

Musk promised a driverless Tesla demo with speakerphone and terrain in 2017. His company has yet to fulfill this mission. In 2019, Musk predicted that Tesla would manufacture autonomous robotic taxis in 2020 and cars without steering wheels or pedals in 2021.

Speaking on a conference call on Q1 results, Tesla CFO Zachary Kirkhorn said, “If you look at the size of our fleet and the number of customers who didn’t pre-purchase or lease FSD and might want to experiment with FSD, that is a great option for them. “He added,” As the subscription customer portfolio builds, over time it becomes a pretty strong business for us. “

To refine unfinished driver assistance functions, Tesla is giving some owners early access to a beta version of FSD, effectively turning thousands of everyday drivers into software testers on public roads in the United States

Tesla did not immediately respond to a request for more information, including whether or not FSD subscribers were eligible to participate in the FSD beta program.

In the past few months, as CNBC reported, Tesla has also notified regulators for the California DMV and the NHTSA that its FSD and FSD Beta technology is equivalent to a “Level 2” system – an indication of vehicle automation categories that are Professional Association for Engineers, SAE International.

According to the SAE standards, last updated in May 2021, drivers of a Level 2 vehicle are expected to “constantly monitor” it, including by steering, braking, or accelerating, “as necessary to ensure safety”. Level 2 vehicles have functions such as automatic lane centering, which works in conjunction with adaptive cruise control. In contrast, a level 4 vehicle may not require a steering wheel or pedals and can be used as a local driverless taxi in restricted conditions such as fair weather.

Los Angeles County Passes Utility To Promote Youngsters To Use Social Safety Cash

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Los Angeles County Passes Utility To Promote Youngsters To Use Social Safety Cash

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Sarah Reingewirtz / MediaNews Group via Getty Images

Sarah Reingewirtz / MediaNews Group via Getty Images

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The Los Angeles County Regulatory Agency passed a motion to ensure foster children receiving Social Security benefits have access to these checks. District chairwoman Hilda Solis, co-sponsor of the application, said the new policy is a “game changer.”

Sarah Reingewirtz / MediaNews Group via Getty Images

In Los Angeles, the County Board of Supervisors has taken a step to ensure that foster children receiving Social Security benefits can actually use that money – a move that is extremely rare nationwide.

The board unanimously passed a motion this week calling on the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services to ensure foster children receiving Social Security benefits have access to these checks when they leave the system. The vast majority of state and county child welfare organizations across the country routinely use these services for themselves, often without notifying the youth or a family member, a recent research by NPR and The Marshall Project found.

The state and county youth welfare offices, as the NPR investigation found, take the checks as reimbursement for room, board and other services that they provide to the foster children – although the authorities are required to provide these services under federal law and other foster children are not obliged to Reimbursement of care by the agencies.

It is estimated that 10 to 20 percent of foster children and adolescents are entitled to social security benefits – because they have a disability, or one parent has a disability, or because one parent has died. These checks can run to hundreds of dollars a month or more.

In many states, when foster children are retired between the ages of 18 and 21, they often leave with little money. That’s one of the reasons many ex-foster children become homeless quickly – about 36 percent in one study – and many end up in jail and few graduate from college.

Hilda Solis, the Los Angeles district manager who co-sponsored the application, said the new policy is designed to reverse those poor outcomes for teenagers in foster care.

“It’s a game changer for her life,” she told NPR. “Many of these youngsters … when they leave our services, they become homeless if they do not receive financial support. And we have to break this cycle. “

Los Angeles has more foster children than most states. About 33,000 children live there in foster care, about half of all in California.

The application is an intermediate step. This instructs the district’s child welfare authority to “ensure” that an interest-bearing bank account is set up for all foster children receiving social security benefits so that they have access to the money “after they leave the foster family”.

The application also required government agencies to report back within 30 days with data – on how much social security benefits are being collected and where that money is going. California law already requires bank accounts to be set up for foster children, but Sue Abrams of the Children’s Law Center of California says her attorneys “notice this is not a regular occurrence”.

The pandemic, she says, has increased the financial challenges for children in foster families. These social security checks, Abrams says, are “a key benefit for anyone, and especially for teenagers who are leaving a foster family.”

Abrams said the manager’s move was a “great step” in determining if additional policy changes need to be made to ensure foster children have access to their social security benefits.

There is also a move in Congress to create a similar federal law. Rep. Danny Davis, a Democrat from Chicago, is working on a new version of laws he put in place in the past that would require child protection agencies to screen foster children and teenagers to find out who is eligible for Social Security benefits to do so to apply for funding and then put this money in a bank account for the foster child or young person.

In 2018, Maryland – the only state in the country – passed law requiring social security checks to be provided for teenagers in foster care. Forty percent of the check is set aside when the teen turns 14, and then 100 percent from the age of 18.

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Try the most popular trend statements from Intercourse and the Metropolis Reboot

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Try the most popular trend statements from Intercourse and the Metropolis Reboot

We couldn’t help but wonder how soon is it too early to channel the latest cast from the Sex and the City cast?

It’s no secret that since HBO’s popular show premiered in 1998, people have been trying to mimic the style of Sarah Jessica Parker‘s iconic character. Fast forward to 2021, and the desire to dress like the only Carrie Bradshaw has grown even stronger with Sex and the City’s relaunched series, And Just Like That.

Case study? Earlier this month, Sarah got fans into a frenzy after sharing a picture of her first day of shooting with co-stars Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) and Kristin Davis (Charlotte).

The legendary group, of course – minus Kim Cattrall who’s not returning to play Samantha for the reboot – looked as fabulous as ever as he walked the streets of New York City.

In the cast photo, Cynthia rocked an airy gray plaid button-down and loose-fitting pants. Sarah’s outfit was also an eye-catcher with her checkered high-waist skirt, beige cardigan and strappy Mary Jane heels. And Kristina? She wore an off-the-shoulder polka-dot blouse (with a plunging neckline!) And a black pencil skirt.

What are these 32 new emojis? The grownup’s out-of-touch information to little one tradition

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What are these 32 new emojis? The grownup’s out-of-touch information to little one tradition

Image for the article titled The Out Of Touch Adult's Guide To Child Culture: What Are These 32 New Emojis?

Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

It’s summer and life is … kind of strange. People keep getting hurt after mimicking TikTok, a pop star visited the White House trying to get kids to be taking the damn vaccine, and everyone on the internet is learning a lot about wild boars. This is not the future that 1970s science fiction films promised me.

In Politics This Week: The Historic Rodrigo / Biden Summit

If it isn’t Steal riffs from Elvis Costello18-year-old pop star Olivia Rodrigo visits heads of state. The singer rolled into the White House dressed in vintage Chanel, took the stage at the official press conference, got himself aviator glasses from Diamond Joe and even met his fellow pop star Anthony Fauci.

Rodrigo was there to record videos encouraging children to be vaccinated against the Rhona and sharing them with their 28 million young followers. “It doesn’t matter if you are young and healthy, vaccination is about protecting yourself, your friends and family. Let’s vaccinate! ”Rodrigo said in a Twitter video.

Twitter users @ Katie88171763, a “mom, aunt and fiancé”, replied, “To be honest, I don’t see why anyone is getting the vaccine. It’s pointless. Not even approved by the FDA, lol. ”

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This week in TikTok danger

Welcome to another installment of my ongoing feature “Never Do What You See On The Internet”. Please avoid the following means of self-expression:

· Don’t poach an egg in the microwave.

· Don’t bleach your teeth with Mr. Clean.

· Don’t put your baby on railroad tracks for a cute picture.

· Don’t cook steak in your toaster.

· Don’t climb into the rhinoceros cage at the zoo and do backflips.

This week in music: BTS and Måneskin

The two videos that explode this week stand on opposite sides of the youth culture paradigm and embody the never-ending push-pull of pop music between the transgressive and the mundane. On the transgressive side is the video for Måneskin “I wanna be your slave. “This passionate celebration of sex, kinkyness, gender nonconformity, and dirty rock and / or roll is the latest in a long line of” Shock-the-Squares “hits that at least went up to Cab Calloway’s” Reefer Man “in 1932 .

At the other end of the spectrum, the clean-cut, non-threatening K-pop guys from BTS showed the video for their number one hit.butter“On Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show this week, and the slick, perfectly crafted pop song didn’t shock anyone, even if it includes a rap break. It’s so catchy that you’ll get sick of it before it ends, but it will never leave your head. I would like to see a BTS / Måneskin collaboration, please. Let’s shake things up, folks.

This week in SMS: New emojis are coming

A slate Have 32 potential new emojis unveiled in time for World Emoji Day on July 17th. Gender-neutral pregnant women ”,“ X-rays ”and“ ID cards ”. Unfortunately, “screaming man being eaten by snakes” didn’t make the cut.

The winners will be determined by Online votingso make your voice heard; Democracy is important. The competition winners will be available in text boxes worldwide on September 14th. At the risk of politics, I urge you to vote for the biting lip emoji. I’m too noble to send “eggplant” followed by “water droplets” but I still need to signal when it’s time for work.

Viral Video of the Week: True Facts: Wild Pigs

I never thought how weird and awesome pigs are until I saw this week’s viral video.True facts: wild boars. “The bite-sized animal documentation from ZFrank takes you deep into Pig-World, where you will learn everything about the terrible teeth of the wild boar, the special mating habits of our pig cousins ​​and how warthogs are so ugly that they scare cheetahs.

I have always campaigned to completely eliminate nature and the footage of this video of the demon / goth pigs of Indonesia is the only confirmation I need that I am on the right page on this topic. Anyway, give it a try while enjoying a ham sandwich.

This week in video games: Netflix has games

Netflix continues its quest to do it all by entering the video games realm. According to Bloomberg, Netflix plans to offer video games on its streaming service within the next year. Games are displayed in a separate area alongside films and original Netflix content, and playing them does not cost anything extra.

What kind of vidja games Netflix is ​​planning remains to be seen, but judging by the original content, I’d bet my money on interactive stand-up specials with barely funny comedians and amateurish niche games that all suck … really like.

How one can discover your good wedding ceremony gown, even when it feels unattainable

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How one can discover your good wedding ceremony gown, even when it feels unattainable

Image for the article titled How To Find Your Perfect Wedding Dress, Even If It Feels Impossible

Photo: Tattsiana (Shutterstock)

Saying yes forever with the love of your life is the easy part (we hope). Saying yes to the dress, however, is not as easy as television would like to make it. There are expectations (both yours and others), there are many more options than you ever thought possible, and there are likely some uncertainties to take with you into the bridal boutique. But there is a perfect dress for you – here’s how to find it.

Know what to expect from a dress, but be open to surprises

Kaitlin Popovic, a 28-year-old newlywed from Staten Island, knew exactly what she wanted when she went there Bridal couple Kleinfeld, the boutique of TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress fame. In fact, she knew so well that she came in with a certain style number.

“As soon as I saw the dress, I fell in love,” she said about her Pnina Tornai dress. “I knew immediately that it was the right one.”

Sure, Popovic was very lucky that day – but don’t come down if you can’t find your dream dress the second you walk into a store.

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“About 72% of brides find their dress on their first shopping date. So make sure you have everything and everyone you need to say when you go shopping, ”said Jordan Ensminger, Creative Director and Buyer for The bridal collection, is just outside of Denver. But don’t despair if you don’t belong to that percentage.

“Be prepared to love dresses that you thought you wouldn’t like and be overwhelmed by the styles that you thought you would love. You want to look for a dress that feels most authentic to yourself and your personality and that sometimes doesn’t go with your Pinterest board, ”she said. “Don’t stress the wedding too much. Just be yourself (but a fancier version!), Because it doesn’t get any better, especially for the person who marries you. “

Choose a dress that you love

Even if you have been dressing successfully since childhood, you may find that suddenly many people around you are giving their opinions and expectations about what you will wear on your wedding day. Read that again: your wedding day.

It is nice to be aware of family traditions or cultural conventions, but this is still your day. Your family members (and future family members) have important roles on the wedding day and should be celebrating and celebrating too – but this is your party.

“Shopping for wedding dresses is subjective,” said Ensminger. “Not everyone will like the same clothes that you love. It can be tough falling in love with a dress, but you won’t get the reaction you hoped for from your mom, best friend, or sibling. Everyone has their own idea of ​​what to wear to their wedding and that is shaped by how they see you or what they would choose themselves. As long as you feel like yourself and feel beautiful and happy, the only thing that matters is. “

Popovic said the same thing, and she said it forcefully, “This is your day and nobody else’s. Pick a dress, headdress, veil, etc. that you want. Don’t pick anything for someone else just to make them happy. This day is about you and your future spouse and nobody else. “

However, navigating family relationships can be difficult. You don’t have to be told; we all know it. Now you have two families to deal with and it’s twice as difficult, so you have the rest of your life to get into arguments. Stick to this and focus on yourself, your day, and your love.

And wear what you want.

Don’t expect the process to be quick

Trying on wedding dresses is fun, isn’t it? It’s a day or two of champagne and laughs with your friends and family members. You can put on some gorgeous dresses and play around with your personal style. You can take a photo for Instagram holding an Etsy-style sign announcing your success. It probably won’t get as many likes as the engagement ring picture you posted recently, but hey, it’s part of the process!

So that you know, the wedding dress ordeal isn’t over after that. The process has only just begun.

“Dresses can take up to eight months to arrive, so shop with enough time to order your dress and make changes,” said Ensminger.

Right: changes. This dress is just for you which means it must match your unique body. Its creation – including detailing, beading, and sewing – can take a long time, not to mention the changes it goes through once it’s shipped to you and you try it the second, third, and even fourth time.

“I did three try-ons for my dress, which is perfectly normal,” said Popovic, who pointed out that this part of the process can and should be enjoyed, even if it takes a while. “I added straps to my dress and added a little more shine. The change part was actually very cool. My dress was couture, so to see how they actually cut into my dress and hem was real art. “

Trust that there is a perfect dress for you

This is a special occasion, and difficult as it may be, do your best to leave your uncertainties at the door. Your fiancée chooses to spend the rest of her life with you and loves you for who you are. You are beautiful now and you will be beautiful on the big day.

“For brides who feel uncomfortable or insecure while shopping, remember that it is perfectly normal to feel this way. Donning a wedding dress for the first time can feel really weird and very “grown up,” so it’s okay if it doesn’t feel natural to you, “said Ensminger. “Buying a dress that you will wear in front of tens to hundreds of people would get everyone to take a closer look at themselves, but don’t let your insecurities dissuade you from your experience as a bride. Know that dresses come in all sizes and are amazing at highlighting the things you love about your body and hiding the things you like less. “

Instead of focusing on perceived mistakes, bring a group of supportive friends and family members with you. Remember, this is all about you. If a family member or friend seems a little jealous or prone to making rude comments about your body, feel empowered to cross them off your invitee list on shopping day. Nobody has the right to make you feel guilty, especially during one of the most exciting times of your life.

Have fun with the people you bring with you. Popovic said that although she knew what dress she wanted before entering the boutique, she tried on a variety of pieces “to make the process fun and interesting for everyone who came”.

“Try everything,” she said. “Even if it’s not your style, you will never know if you don’t try. Have fun; just enjoy the experience. “

Ashley Olsen and her boyfriend get pleasure from date evening on a uncommon outing

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Ashley Olsen and her boyfriend get pleasure from date evening on a uncommon outing

Ashley Olsen and your friend Louis Eisner were spotted together – don’t worry, this time without a machete.

The couple was spotted having dinner at the upscale French restaurant Balthazar in New York City on Friday, July 16. Ashley held her husband’s hand in a photo that E! News as they rock an oversized black dress and half up, half down hairstyle. Her 32 year old friend was on the phone when they were leaving the SoHo hot spot. Ashley walked the streets of NYC in casual black flats and a matching black clutch.

About a week before her dinner in downtown Manhattan, Louis shared a picture of Ashley on Instagram that, oddly enough, shows her holding a machete. The famous full house alum, however, looked as stylish as ever, rocking a black shirt, white sweatshirt, baggy white pants, and black Yeezy sneakers. She covered her hair in the snapshot with a rear-facing black hat and wore oversized black sunglasses. And in her hand that was not carrying a machete, Ashley was holding a drink in the woods.

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