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Not all advice has to be professional. Sometimes your problems deserve a little blunt honesty from a guy with only a computer and a conscience. Luckily for you, I’m that guy. Welcome back to Tough Love. (If you’d like my advice email me at sblum@lifehacker.com)

Today we discuss how to negotiate a reunion with a family member that you want to avoid at all costs. What do you do if you have to spend several days with this person? Can you avoid them? Should you?

Note: I am a columnist, not a therapist or a certified doctor. My advice should be interpreted in that sense. If you have a problem with something I say complain here. Let’s start now.

Hello sam

For seven years I have been happily estranged from my brother. I was the executor of our parents’ estate and he cut off contact with me because of a decision I had made. I was so happy not to have anything to do with him. Out of respect for my mother, I worked hard for years to maintain a relationship with him, even though my brother is a racist narcissist. His hair-raising temper made everyone walk on eggshells. His MO was to play my sister and me off against each other – even though we both had his number and joked each other about being saddled with him and vice versa when he cut off contact with one of us and tried to ingratiate himself with the other.

My last encounter with him was when he yelled at me that I was a “liberal” and should never speak to him again. Since he has many weapons, I slowly closed the door for him and haven’t spoken to him since. My attorney arranged all contacts with him to settle the estate and I was so relieved that I didn’t have to deal with him. I do not like him. I don’t enjoy his company and see no reason to mend this relationship. I wish him no harm, but I really don’t want anything to do with him.

However, my older son did have a relationship with him, which is fine – he’s grown up and makes his own decisions. However, this son is getting married and will no doubt invite my brother to his destination wedding. The thought of spending a week with my asshole brother makes me nervous. I’m not going to tell my son and his fiancée what to do, but I really want to enjoy this week-long celebration. Having my idiotic brother there is sure to ruin the party.

He wasn’t invited to my other son’s wedding because his nephew, who doesn’t want anything to do with him, was a huge idiot. But my brother does not have the ability to learn, understand, or apologize. Although he has been in occupational health therapy for decades (he is a first aider), he uses therapeutic knowledge and terms to absolve himself of any responsibility for his hideous behavior. It doesn’t make sense for me to hire him on any level. But destination weddings bring everyone together for a few days of intense interaction. I don’t see how to evade him.

How do I deal with it? Am I biting my teeth, asking to be kept as far away from my brother as possible and trying to minimize our interactions? Do I stay outside? Go the other way when I see him coming? My brother has no control over himself and I can think of all sorts of scenarios in which he tries to keep me occupied, baited, and otherwise initiate some type of interaction. He could really disrupt the wedding – just like he did at our mother’s funeral when he pouted and ran up to him at a little remark from a cousin. He’s already ruined several vacations for me by blaming my sister wildly and stalking out angrily.

How do I successfully negotiate this enforced closeness?

Done with him

Better finished with him

I can understand why you are “done with him”, as your code name makes clear. This guy sounds like sheer chaos; someone who is constantly offended but never really counted on their own inner agony (even after going into therapy). Instead, he hurls his fear at other people in the form of psychological abuse. No wonder you want to avoid him – but how?

The good news (kind of) is that you are dealing with someone who has the emotional maturity of a child. It also sounds like you have the refuge of a family that feels largely the same as you do. Provided everyone in your family is as rational and clear-sighted as you are, you can assume that no one will defend the maddened narcissist who wants to spoil a happy event.

It sounds like your brother is thriving on Chaos, this is one of the Hallmarks of a narcissistas you put it empathetically. A question to ask yourself: How many people are actually willing to put up with his bullshit, or even close to sympathizing with his bullshit? He will find few, if any, allies on this journey, I suppose. You mentioned his story of pouting and storming when his tactics fail at family events. Who says they don’t resort to their usual theatrics and just get out when no one breaks into their chaos?

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Nobody wants a dramatic breakdown to happen at a destination wedding, especially if everyone is likely to hang out on the same lawn for several days. But if he storms off like a toddler, is it really that bad, by and large? He’ll be gone eventually.

Also, I wouldn’t advise staying anywhere else unless you shared a house with your brother for that week. As long as your safety is not at risk, don’t let him get the upper hand in any way imaginable. This is your son’s wedding, and as it sounds like, your brother is kind of the guest of shame. He received a sympathy invitation. He’s likely feeling hurt and insecure that your other son didn’t invite him to his wedding. Make him feel hurt and insecure; no one is to blame for his hideous reputation but himself.

A technique that can be kept well in the back pocket is called gray rocking– when you act as passive and uninteresting as possible to avoid fueling a narcissist’s desire for conflict. It requires short one-word answers and an aversion to eye contact. It will likely drive him insane, but as you know, he will be in a position where he will just put the mood down for everyone, meaning no one will endure his reckless outbursts.

In your general interactions with him – if you absolutely need to communicate – just kill him with kindness, even if he tries to provoke you. Reacting neutrally to provocations can be very annoying and even confusing for the attacker. Why not take him off guard? When it comes down to it and you need the help of people in your close family, one of your sons would be ready to step in. In the meantime, don’t bother thinking about him too much. It doesn’t sound worth it.

That’s it for this week, but there’s a lot more Tough Love. If you’d like to be featured, please feel free to contact us by turning your dilemmas into one E-mail me (Please include “RAT” or “TOUGH LOVE” in the subject line). Or, tweet me with the hashtag #ToughLove. Serious inquiries only: Don’t email or message me if you don’t want to be on the column. Disclaimer of liability: I can’t answer everyone, so make sure you describe a specific problem in your note. I don’t respond to generalizations like “being mean” to someone or vague descriptions of “relationship problems” without specific examples of what is hurting you. Until next time, take care!

Snapchat users have been bombarded with repeated, unexpected two-factor authentication (2FA) text messages this week, but it’s unclear whether the cause was a breakdown on Snapchat or hackers trying en masse into unsecured Snapchat accounts to penetrate. Either way, updating your Snapchat password right away is not a bad idea.

As of this writing, Snapchat has not yet commented on the issue. I’m just speculating, but it seems likely that if the warnings were triggered by some sort of random, widespread system error, we would have heard of the company by now.

Some have suggested that this could indicate that malicious actors are on a large scale 2FA phishing attempt, but based on the screenshots users shared on Twitter and other social media sites, I’m not so sure about that explanation either.

The texts shared online read like official 2FA codes sent by Snapchat, which would be unusual for a 2FA phishing scam. A common 2FA phishing tactic is asking the user to “verify” their 2FA codes and other account information via SMS or email, which doesn’t work like 2FA logins on Snapchat or anywhere else. (No company will ever ask you for your account information.) Other 2FA scam messages may include a link to a fake login page that looks real but actually captures your login criteria.

None of the random 2FA Snapchat texts I’ve seen on social media contain these warning labels, which raises some doubts about the phishing scam theory. However, that doesn’t mean this wasn’t an attempted hack.

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Snapchat sends 2FA codes when someone signs up on a new device, so the messages could be evidence of outside attempts to sign in. If this isn’t a bug, it could be an indication that someone out there got their hands on a list of Snapchat usernames and passwords, as 2FA codes are only sent after you’ve entered the correct credentials. It could also mean accounts that didn’t have 2FA enabled are already compromised – again, suppose this was a hack.

Whatever the cause, this 2FA problem is the perfect excuse to security clear your Snapchat account. Users should change their password and verify that their accounts are secure HaveIBeenPwned. And if you aren’t already using 2FA on Snapchat (and frankly all of your other social and email accounts), doing so is a good idea activate it asap.

[PiunikaWeb]

Photo: Hanesh Mehta / EyeEm (Getty Images)

People hate mosquitoes, and that’s why companies make a lot of anti-mosquito items: candles, bracelets, chemical and herbal sprays – even electronic devices. But if you want to keep mosquitos off your bare skin this summer, all you really need are two things: bug spray and a fan.

The many alternatives either don’t work or are not worth your time. Citronella candles aren’t much more effective than regular candles, which, as you can imagine, don’t do much for repelling mosquitoes. These glowing insect zappers are not helpful because mosquitoes do not care about light. Bracelets only keep mosquitos away from your wrists. So unless you weave them into a full body jumpsuit, they won’t be of much help. You have the idea. We examine these disappointing truths in more detail here.

So what works Two things, one chemical and one not.

The only bug spray that really works on mosquitoes

Bug spray first. I know you are shocked DEET really works and it does Picaridin and Lemon Eucalyptus Oil. If a mosquito repellent spray (especially a “natural” one) doesn’t have any of these ingredients, it’s probably not good. The easiest way to know which products are legitimate without memorizing a list? Look for an EPA registration number on the back of the label.

Keep mosquitos away without using chemicals

Second, a fan. If you’re hanging out on the porch and don’t want to spray anything on yourself – or if you’ve used the spray but they’re still flying around you and getting on your nerves – just turn on a box fan. You can get one at a hardware store for about $ 20, which is less than what you would spend, what, four mostly useless citronella candles? Mosquitoes are weak fliers, which is why they will surround you when the air is stagnant and soupy. Put up a fan – or use a natural breeze – and you’ll keep them at bay.

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Aside from these effective strategies, there are a few more that I didn’t mention because they’re dead easy: wear long sleeves and pants when you can handle them, and stay indoors when you don’t have to. I know this is not fun. So if you want to enjoy your beer on the porch in shorts and a tank top, get some bug spray and plug in a fan.

This article was originally published in July 2020 and was updated on June 24th, 2021 to bring the content in line with the current Lifehacker style.

Photo: RonGreer.Com (Shutterstock)

Houses built before the 1960s had different electrical codes than we do now – including the fact that two prong outlets were standard rather than the average three prong we typically see today. The third hole in our outlets essentially protects against surges and shocks, and while two-prong outlets are not necessarily a cause for concern, they can be easily upgraded without major rewiring.

Is It Safe To Replace A Two Prong Outlet In Your Home?

Although you can safely swap a two-prong outlet for a three-prong, it does not ground the outlet. As long as the socket is working properly, you can change it, but it should be labeled with a “No Equipment Ground” sticker. You will also need to replace the old outlet with a Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter (GFCI) that protects the user from electric shock. For the most part, they are placed in bathrooms and kitchens where the outlet is likely to come in contact with water and the outlet will trigger to shut down when it detects the risk of electric shock. How Security electricity explained:

The GFCI “feels” the difference between the amount of electricity flowing into the circuit and the amount of electricity flowing away, even with amounts of electricity as low as 4 or 5 milliamps. The residual current circuit breaker reacts quickly (less than a tenth of a second) to trigger or close the circuit.

Before you begin, make sure you know where the breaker is to break the current. In the past, we recommended Shutting down the entire network or circuit breaker just to be sure. The process should only take a few minutes and your power will be back on in no time.

How to install a three-prong electrical outlet

Make sure you have these tools before you begin.

Once you have all of your supplies on hand, turn off the breaker and use the voltage tester to make sure there is no power coming to the outlet. If the meter detects current, you may have a major electrical problem and should contact an electrician immediately.

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After confirming that the power is off, you can Start by replacing the outlet. Use your screwdriver to remove the faceplate around the socket; Below you will find the fastening screws that secure the socket. Go ahead and remove these screws. (Feel free to wear it rubberized work gloves.) Once the socket is loose, pull it out of the wall to reveal the two wires that secure it in place. (Take this opportunity to double check that the power is off.)

Take your micro-side cutter and cut the two wires that attach the socket. You now need to strip the wires according to the stripping measurement on the back of your GFCI socket. This measuring device shows you how much of the wire jacket needs to be stripped for the new socket. Make sure you only strip as much insulation as the meter requires, otherwise you run the risk of exposed wires in the socket.

After stripping the wires, attach them to the appropriate voltage receptors. How Daily house repairs instructs: “Gold turns black when it is hot. And then white or the neutral wire goes to the silver screw terminal. ”You take the black cable and place it under the golden plate at the exit (all the way in until no more copper is visible) and screw it tight. Then take the white or neutral wire and do the same thing on the silver plated side and screw it in place.

After that, wrap the black electrical tape around the socket, completely covering the sides. The tape adds another layer. added Protection against electrical current. Be careful not to cut the tape and not pull or tear, as the tape will break and lay flat on the case for a secure hold.

Watch the Everyday Home Repairs video for detailed visual instructions:

Now you can fix the socket in the wall and screw it back on. After everything is replaced, turn the breaker back on and test the voltage to make sure everything is working properly.