Photo: GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP (Getty Images)

Not all advice has to be professional. Sometimes your problems deserve a little blatant honesty from a guy with only a computer and a conscience. Fortunately, I am that guy. Welcome back to Tough Love.

Today we are discussing with your partner what it is like to have a seemingly irreconcilable dead end if a person does not want to be vaccinated against COVID-19. In this case, how do you deal with the dilemma when the only pro-COVID vaccine partner is an intensive care doctor?

Note: I am a columnist, not a therapist or a certified doctor. My advice should be interpreted in that sense. If you have a problem with something I say file a complaint here. Let’s start now.

Hello sam

My fiancé and I have been together for three years now and we have been engaged as a COVID hit since early 2020. It feels like the pandemic has only strengthened our relationship and made us appreciate what we have taken for granted so far. Working as a doctor in an intensive care unit, I’ve seen firsthand how devastating it can be to get sick and die of COVID. When the vaccine came out I rushed to get mine and felt so happy to be protected early on. The rest of my family and friends are also vaccinated, so I’m grateful we had access.

My fiancé, on the other hand, doesn’t work in healthcare. He works in technology, has remained largely isolated from home and, amazingly, has not really developed COVID in his personal life. He doesn’t want to get the vaccine because he thinks the trials were done too quickly and he wants to wait at least a couple of years before getting it, if at all, so that more data can come out. He’s not against vaccinations as he got all the other vaccines. But when it comes to the COVID vaccines, he has read a lot online about possible side effects that made him anxious, even though I tried to explain the science to him based on my medical background. This is the first time we have disagreed on something this important. We keep arguing about it because I can’t understand why he doesn’t want to protect himself and the people around him. And the more I talk about it, the more he digs into his heels.

Ultimately, I understand that it is his body and I cannot force him to have it. However, since he will not be vaccinated, it will affect our plans for our wedding, whether we will be able to travel in the next few years, etc. He is also not sure if he would allow me to vaccinate our children when it comes to it and there’s no way the hell not to vaccinate my kids to keep them safe from COVID after everything I’ve seen. It almost feels like this is a deal breaker for our relationship, and I wonder if we even have a future when we disagree so fundamentally on such an important health decision.

Any thoughts on how to fill this loophole?

A vaccinated Valentine’s Day

Dear vaccinated Valentine’s Day,

I can only imagine what it is like to be in your position. After all, you’re an intensive care doctor who witnessed the horrors of COVID in ways most people can only imagine. To have a partner at home who will question the effectiveness of the world’s best escape route from this marathon plague, it has to be a direct challenge to your worldview as a doctor.

The first time I read your note, a picture of your fiancé appeared to me and to be honest it wasn’t pleasant: a guy who works in tech and wants to see more data on the COVID vaccines and possibly is okay, maybe it will Virus transmitted to others in the meantime, prolonging our collective horror. And what for? Personally, when I think of this type of guy I think of an asshole. Who is he to assume that he could know better than the global coalition of Scientists who developed mRNA vaccines? Did he study epidemiology? Does he actually understand peer-reviewed studies? Being smart about one thing – your job in tech – doesn’t mean you know shit about anything else, let alone something as complex as global epidemics.

But the truth is, I don’t know this man. You want to marry him so there are obviously many things that will bring salvation about him and it is up to me to find possible solutions.

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You mention the issue is raising arguments, and while I can see how this can upset you both, you might be wondering if you could take a casual stance when talking about the COVID vaccine. If the whole idea of ​​discussing this is like some kind of trigger where the two of you immediately head off against each other, try to clear the emotions if you can. I mean, the facts are on your side – the vaccine wasn’t “too fast” For example, as he assumes – maybe a more detached representation of them will pique his interest in being logical.

I understand this might be a challenge for you, but try asking yourself a few questions and then maybe moving on from there: Can you occasionally discuss the vaccination program and its success so far? Can you deliver positive news in a neutral, non-confrontational way? Trying to do it this way may help him get used to the subject without feeling the need to work his heels in as you put it.

Since he is not an avowed anti-Vaxxer, there is still a chance he will be satisfied that this particular vaccine is safe and effective. Will he get the vaccine in a year if all side effects are calm and millions of people don’t get sick from their bumps? If there is anyone who can convince them of the other side, it should be you as you are a doctor and have no interest in lying to your fiancé about his health.

Now consider for a moment the broader context in which we live today. The vaccines are truly a triumph of scientific ingenuity and collective societal endeavor, but they were, at least in some ways, the result of highly politicized and scared-off efforts. Data is of course data and The vaccines are still safe and effective, but it helps to understand the climate that influences some of our deliberations.

On another point – and I will not hold back here – you are in a fix. To be honest, you’ve known this guy for three years which is quite a long time, but neither is it. Could there be another hill he wants to die on that could prove insoluble to your relationship? When it comes to vaccinating your kids against COVID, this is a whole different mountain that you may have to climb in due course. (I assume he is up for kids when it comes to all of the standard vaccinations, but if he isn’t, that would probably be a deal breaker for me).

You don’t want this to anticipate any more arguments where he doubles up out of pride or whatever is holding him back from listening to scientific consensus. Fortunately, that’s not inevitable, and you don’t have to endure it if you don’t want to. But I hope he comes to his senses. If not, you are facing a difficult path.

That’s it for this week, but there’s a lot more Tough Love. If you’d like to be featured, please contact us by describing your dilemmas in an article E-mail me (Please put “ADVICE” or “TOUGH LOVE” in the subject line). Or, Tweet me with the hashtag #ToughLove. Serious inquiries only: Don’t send me emails or messages if you don’t want to appear in the column. Disclaimer of Liability: I cannot answer all of them. So make sure you describe a specific problem in your note. I will not respond to generalizations like someone who is “mean” or vague descriptions of “relationship problems” without specific examples of what is making you sick. Take care of yourself until next time!

If you do a lot of deadlifts or other high-grip exercises like pull-ups, you’ve likely developed some calluses on your hands. And if you don’t take care of these calluses, sooner or later one of them will tear apart. Fortunately, you don’t have to stop lifting while waiting for it to heal.

Why do calluses tear?

A callus is a thickening of the skin that occurs in response to pressure. While a callus is somewhat protective, the crusty layers of skin that can build up on a callus can cause more problems if you keep them close than if you don’t. As a surgeon explained in our article on callusesIf there is too much crusted, dead skin, a callus remains susceptible to cracks, tears or further irritation (e.g. with all repetitions).

To prevent this, Take care of your calluses before they reach this stage Use a file or pumice stone or even a callus razor as needed (as long as you are careful not to cut into living skin). You can do this maintenance in the bathroom or after you shower. or you can do it after your workout when your skin is dry and covered in chalk. Either method will work, although you may prefer different tools for each scenario.

How to protect a torn callus

First, clean the area and carefully cut away any dead skin. You can apply a bandage or tape if it’s on an area of ​​your hand where you think the bandage will stop. However, this is often not possible.

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Anecdotally, gymnasts and climbers often protect their torn hands by applying a balm that keeps the raw skin moist. There are different brands like Joshua Tree healing ointment or Ript Quick Fix. Something like petroleum jelly would probably work just as well.

But that’s just skin care. What do you do when you show up at the gym and have a callus on the top of your palm that you can’t tape and it hurts even to pick up a barbell? Then it’s time to hold onto a tape.

How to Make the Best Tape Handle

You will use sports tape – the kind of fabric you can find in any drug store – but you won’t stick it to your skin.

Instead, make a handle that goes around your finger and attaches to your wrist. This video from Fight or Flight Academy is an excellent tutorial. The steps are:

1. Cut a long piece of duct tape and fold it in half lengthways, sticky sides.
2. Use your scissors to make a plus sign cut about an inch from the folded end. This will become a hole for you to stick your finger through.
3. Put the length of folded tape on the palm of your hand and anchor it to your wrist by wrapping more tape around your wrist. The only tape that will stick to your skin is the material on your wrist.

The resulting tape handle is loose enough for your hand to flex and bend as needed. However, it prevents your delicate callus from coming into contact with the deadlift bar (or chin-up bar or kettlebell). Give it a try next time you have a torn hand – then invest in some callus dropping tools so it doesn’t happen again.

Photo: Hagelschatten (Getty Images)

If you are behind on filing your taxes, apply for an extension today – before the 2020 tax deadline at midnight – as you will avoid costly IRS penalties if you fail to file your tax return on time. Here’s what you need to know.

Why you might be applying for a tax extension

Whether you’re missing tax documents (like a stray Form 1099), dealing with an emergency, or simply forgetting the deadline, you can gain extra time filing your taxes by requesting an extension until October 15, 2021. Taxpayers living abroad are eligible for an automatic renewal until June 15 – details can be found here Here )

However, that doesn’t mean your taxes aren’t due today. If you think you owe the 2020 IRS money, you still have to pay at least as a minimum 80% of your estimated tax bill before the end of today. This payment can be made as part of your tax extension claim, even if it is a rough estimate (if you overpay, the IRS will reimburse you for the difference later). Otherwise, starting tomorrow, you will be charged a non-payment penalty equal to 0.5% of your unpaid taxes for each month or part of the month that you are overdue, up to a total of 25%.

Why should you apply for an extension if you are still being charged interest? Well, An extension avoids an additional penaltyThis is ten times greater than a late payment penalty. This equates to 5% of your unpaid tax bill for each month or part of the month that your return is delayed, up to 25%. (And just because the IRS likes to be confusing: If the non-filing and non-payment penalties are executed at the same time, you are actually only paying 4.5% for the non-filing penalty, which is a maximum of 22.5% as the IRS limits the combined penalties to a total of 5%.

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How to apply for an extension of the tax deadline

To file an extension, you need to file an IRS Form 4868 electronically to the IRS before midnight using tax preparation software (free versions are available Hereif you make $ 72,000 or less). You can use these software programs to make a rough estimate of the potential taxes you may owe that can then be repaid as part of the Form 4868 filing process. That way, you’ll have more time to deal with paperwork and avoid late penalties. (You can also mail the form, but make sure it’s postmarked May 17th.)

Kiplinger says you can also get an automatic renewal by making an electronic tax payment of your estimated taxes directly to the IRS before midnight. Choose “Pay your taxes now ”On the IRS website to make a federal electronic tax payment using either your bank account or a credit or debit card (processing fees apply). When paying, select the “Renewal” option and make sure you save the confirmation number even after you have processed your payment.

Also important: The rules for tax extensions vary from state to state State Tax Agency website before you submit.

Photo: T. Luangpalud (Shutterstock)

The next celestial event to light up the skies over the northern hemisphere has a name that matches its red-tinted hue: The Super Flower Blood Moon. No, that mouthful of a name isn’t a purely scientific term, but as far as full moons go, this month is definitely worth the place on your calendar. It is the product of a lunar eclipse, as the moon is only inches closer to earth than it is all month, and fragments of sunlight soak the lunar surface with a deep, reddish glow.

Here’s what you need to know about the Super Flower Blood Moon, which is definitely not an omen of the upcoming End of Days, although it sounds like it.

It’s a total lunar eclipse

It’s a solar eclipse to stare at, which is a plus for solar eclipses. A total lunar eclipse occurs on May 26th when the moon moves in the shadow of the earth and the sun, earth and moon are perfectly aligned. This brief moment of symmetry obscures the moon from viewers on the ground, but this particular solar eclipse is different in that it coincides with a super moon – when the moon comes closest to earth during its orbit. That particular moon after which Peasant almanac, will be the largest moon of the year for anyone who looks up without the aid of binoculars or telescopes.

Given all the factors, the Super Flower Blood Moon is a perfect sky storm. NASA explains how the moon is shrouded in a shade of red during the process:

The red color comes from sunlight filtered through the earth’s atmosphere – a ring of light created by all sunrises and sunsets on our planet at this time. Because of its reddish color, a lunar eclipse is often referred to as a “blood moon”.

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The term “flower” does not come out of nowhere either: the full moon in May is traditionally referred to as the flower moon and results from its association with the flowering of spring. Either way, this moon will be big – over seven percent bigger and 15 percent brighter than usual, which means it looks something like this April’s pink super moon.

How to see the Super Flower Blood Moon

Fortunately, a total lunar eclipse cannot be missed, and while certain areas have a better angle of view, this phenomenon is visible almost everywhere at night, albeit to varying degrees. NASA explains where the solar eclipse will have the greatest impact:

The best observation for this solar eclipse is in the Pacific region – these are the western parts of America, Australia and New Zealand as well as East Asia. For the US, the best ad is in Hawaii, Alaska, and the western states.

For the eastern states of the USA, the event begins “at dusk”, according to the space agency. The further west you travel before the moonset, the better the visibility. The solar eclipse doesn’t make any distinction based on where you live as it occurs instantly and then disappears. Of course, you can streamline the process by checking out TimeandDate’s Resources to help you input your exact coordinates to help plan the arrival of the solar eclipse. This really is the best way to choose a time to gaze at the sky. There are plenty of options too Live streaming is concerned if you want to witness the wonder of the giant red moon from the soft glow of an LCD screen.

As always, check the weather forecast and prepare accordingly before venturing into the elements, or just look out the window.