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How you can wean your toddler off the pacifier

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How you can wean your toddler off the pacifier

Illustration for article titled How To Wean Your Toddler From Their PacifiersPhoto: Nor Gal (Shutterstock)

The pacifier can be a wonderful thing: it can calm a fussy baby, help him fall asleep, or provide a temporary distraction. Once breastfeeding is complete, the American Academy of Pediatrics According to an offer for nap and bedtime, the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) can be reduced. But at some point, between two and four years old, they may need help to give up the habit.

If you’re looking for the easiest time to wean a child off a pacifier, it’s probably sooner than you think – Dr. Harvey Karp, from The happiest baby on the block, says six or seven months old is the sweet spot for many babies (at nine months they begin to be emotionally attached). Even if you let them hang on their pacifiers after childhood, many toddlers will no longer use them alone. But if they keep sucking away by the age of three, it’s them American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry says it’s time to stop using them before prolonged use causes orthodontic problems.

There are several different methods you can try – some are fast, some are slow, and some involve magical beings. Let’s discuss.

The three day method

This is probably the fastest way to go, and all it really takes is a few conversations with your toddler and a steely determination. If you want to go that route, you have to be committed. As Marguerite Lamb writes Parents.com::

In the morning and before bed, tell your child that you can see that they want to do many things that will make them older. Tell her this is a good idea and that in three days it will be time for her to say goodbye to her pacifiers. Tell her you know she can and that you will work on it together. Hold the conversation for 30 seconds and don’t sound like you’re asking for permission. When your child responds, reflect on their feelings – “I know you don’t want to” – and then move on. Don’t worry about making your child anxious if they get a warning. “That’s a myth,” says [Mark] Burner, [author of Pacifiers, Blankets, Bottles & Thumbs: What Every Parent Should Know About Stopping and Starting]. “Like adults, children like to prepare physically, psychologically and emotionally for change.”

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On the second day, you have the same two factual chats about what the day is tomorrow. And on the third day, use their help to collect all of the pacifiers, put them in a plastic bag, and take them outside to be “recycled” into other children’s toys. (Don’t just toss them in the trash. If you think your beloved binkies will do more good for the world, it will take some time.)

And then prepare for the very real possibility of a breakdown. You can, of course, be empathetic about how they feel, but you also need to be firm. Brenner says Most toddlers will overcome losing their pacifiers in about two days.

The step-by-step approach

To wean a toddler from a pacifier more slowly, set some limits on the amount of time they can have and under what conditions. You can start by stopping their use at times when they are less needed, e.g. B. Immediately after a nap, when they are in the car or when they play with toys in the living room. Eventually get to the point where they’re only allowed to have it for a nap and before bed, and eventually get rid of it too.

You can also choose that if the pacifiers are lost or damaged, they simply will not be replaced. They’ll move from one in each room to a couple at some point, stating that if the last one is missing or broken, then using a pacifier will be the end.

Some experts also suggest poking a hole in the pacifier or cutting off its tip so that it loses its suction (and therefore its attraction). However, if you do cut the tip off, be careful as this can cause a small piece to come off and create a choking hazard. Do not let them use it unless they are supervised.

The magical approach

We have fairies who come to steal our children’s teeth; Why can’t we have fairies who take their pacifiers too? The magical binky fairy is popular with parents of pacifier-loving toddlers, and for good reason. The binky fairy comes on a special day, which could be her birthday or another milestone day. The fairy takes her old binkies to deliver to little babies who need them (only use this part if you think it won’t cause jealousy) and leaves a new “big kid’s toy” in her place.

You can swap the details on the magical creature that is coming for the binkies and even let the toddler choose when they are ready to visit.

Here is how Emily is a parent in ours Descendants Facebook group successfully dealt with it: “We spent several months talking about the ‘binky birdies’ that would leave a gift if we gave them binkies, if we were willing to give them up (for a nearly three year old). One Friday he was ready to give up the green and the next the blue, and we’ve been enjoying the duplo ever since! “

Whichever approach you take, keep timing in mind as well. You don’t want to wean them off their pacifier when they are going through another stressful transition, e.g. B. open a new daycare center, welcome a sibling or move into a new home. Pick a time when they don’t have to rely on the pacifier as much to calm themselves down.

Kurt Cobain file launched by the FBI 27 years after his dying

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Kurt Cobain file launched by the FBI 27 years after his dying

The other message, written and printed and sent on floral letterhead in 2007, reads, “Dear US Government Officials, I am writing to you for the reason that every family member, friend, fan and colleague … I just want to get justice for … and others who loved this man as much as I. That man was Kurt Cobain, who belonged to a band called Nirvana and was originally [sic] thought and still gutted [sic] than the truth that he committed [sic] Suicide.”

The letter’s author claimed, “his killer is still out there and now has the option of other victories due to the rush of the police department.” [sic]. “

The FBI’s response to letters about Cobain

In its file, the office contained two identical replies to two letters from 2006 about Kurt’s death sent by fans.

“Your letter … to the FBI, in which you express your belief that Kurt Cobain was murdered, was presented to me in response,” it says. “We appreciate your concern that Mr. Cobain may have been murdered. Most murder investigations, however, are generally the responsibility of state and local authorities.”

The Bureau’s general response letter goes on to say: “In order for the FBI to investigate a complaint we receive, certain facts must be present that indicate that there has been a violation of federal law in our investigative jurisdiction. We cannot violate it determine the federal law within the investigative jurisdiction of the FBI. Therefore, we cannot take investigative action in this case. “

The Important Instruments Everybody Ought to Have at House

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The Important Instruments Everybody Ought to Have at House

Everyone must have a certain set of tools to perform various household tasks, but not everyone has room for a full-fledged toolkit. So only take in what is necessary. But what are they? Here are the tools you will need to cover most of your everyday fix-it projects without taking up valuable storage space.

To help organize this list and your toolkit, it is divided into two types of tasks. Most basic DIY repairs and improvements require either measuring and cutting or tightening and loosening. They are therefore useful categories for organizing your tools.

Measure and cut

Without the right tools, you can’t measure twice, cut once. These basics will keep your artwork perfectly level and ensure you never buy a couch that is too big to fit through the door.

  • High-performance scissors: A lot of Utility scissors has many uses, from the kitchen to the workshop. Office scissors cannot handle cutting ropes. So keep them for easier tasks.
  • Tape measure: From woodworking to interior decoration, a tape measure is essential. A 12 foot tape measure should do most of the work around the house and won’t have the bulk of a 25-foot tape measure for contractors.
  • Level: A 12- or 24-inch Standard spirit level with a measuring scale is necessary for the installation of shelves, hanging mirrors or works of art, and the assembly of televisions.

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Tightening and loosening

Nails, screws, bolts, and staples hold almost everything in your home together, so you’ll need the right tools to set it up.

  • Screwdriver: A multi-bit set with interchangeable flat and Phillips heads is more versatile than some of each and takes up less space, especially if you go for the stocky handle variety.
  • Drill: Chances are that if you measure and make sure things are straight, at some point you will be hanging something heavy, and to do that you almost certainly need one Basic drilling machine and a range of interchangeable parts (often included with purchases) to help you place wall anchors and other sturdy screws. Whenever a special job comes up, you can always buy a special piece –like one for drilling into bricks, for example.
  • Half moon adjustable wrench: At least one Adjustable wrench is a must in every tiny tool kit. Consider A kit that contains multiple sizesSo you’ve covered all of your nut and bolt sizes.
  • Hammer: You don’t have to be too fancy here 8 ounce chunky claw hammer will do 90% of the work around the house.
  • Pliers: Ideally, you will need at least two pliers: One adjustable and one non-adjustable. They come in tons of different shapes and sizes, all of which are suitable for different tasks. Do a little research to make sure you choose a pair of pliers that do exactly what you need.
  • Allen key: These little wrenches are inexpensive and essential. Buy a kit and have it handy so you are always prepared.

Even if you don’t really consider yourself a DIY type, having some basic tools on hand is a must. Knowing you have what you need to get the job done, allows you to fix things as they arise instead of waiting for someone else to do them.

This article was originally published on October 18, 2014. It was updated on May 7, 2021 with a new photo, updated links, an Allen key and drill recommendation, and Lifehacker’s current style guidelines.

Ransomware assault forces the shutdown of the most important gas line in the USA

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Ransomware assault forces the shutdown of the most important gas line in the USA

The country’s largest fuel pipeline operator, Colonial Pipeline, fell victim to a cybersecurity attack targeting ransomware on Friday, forcing the company to temporarily suspend all pipeline operations, the company said in a statement on Saturday.

The company hired an outside cybersecurity firm to investigate the incident and reached out to law enforcement and other federal agencies. The cyber attack also affected some of its IT systems.

The Colonial Pipeline, which carries nearly half of the east coast’s fuel supplies, said it was “taking steps to understand and solve this problem.”

“Right now, our main focus is on the safe and efficient restoration of our service and our efforts to get back to normal operations,” said a company statement.

“This process is already underway and we are working diligently to address this issue and minimize disruption for our customers and those who depend on Colonial Pipeline,” the company said.

Colonial operates the largest refined product pipeline in the United States, according to its website, shipping 2.5 million barrels a day. Refined products include gas, diesel, heating oil, and jet fuel.

Colonial’s system spans more than 5,500 miles between Texas and New Jersey, connecting refineries on the Gulf Coast to more than 50 million people in the southern and eastern United States, the company said.

The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, which oversees interstate pipelines, said it was aware of the cyberattack and is monitoring the situation.

“We are aware that it appears to be a serious cyber attack on the Colonial Pipeline system,” said chairman Richard Glick in a statement to CNBC. “FERC is in communication with other federal agencies and we are working closely with them to monitor developments.”

The Biden government announced a 100-day plan in April to protect the country’s electrical systems supply chain from cyberattacks amid growing concerns over the vulnerability of U.S. power supplies to cyber threats.

A US Department of Energy spokesman said the department is coordinating with Colonial Pipeline, the energy sector, states and interacting partners to support the response effort.

“DOE also works closely with the coordination councils of the energy sector and the centers for the exchange and analysis of energy information and monitors possible effects on the energy supply,” the spokesman told CNBC.

Andy Lipow, president of Lipow Oil Associates, based in Texas, said an outage that would last a day or two would cause some minor inconvenience and greater impact after four to five days of shutdown.

There could also be possible sporadic outages if a certain terminal was dependent on a delivery today or tomorrow and this is now delayed, said Lipow.

“Unlike the February frost or the hurricane, refineries are still operating, converting crude oil into gasoline, jet and diesel. They just can’t get it to the terminals,” said Lipow. “Prolonged colonial pipeline downtime will force refineries to lower their operating rates as refinery stocks fill up.”

“While they may not be able to ship it to Colonial, the refineries will certainly continue to ship to the Midwestern markets,” said Lipow.

John Kilduff, a partner at Again Capital in New York, said that if the outage persists, gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel shortages will quickly emerge in the United States.

“It appears that it was more of a ransomware attack than a state actor, but it shows the significant security flaw across the industry,” said Kilduff. “If there is no resumption of operations or at least no clarity about a resumption by tomorrow evening, gasoline prices will skyrocket on Sunday evening.”

Colonial Pipeline is privately owned by five companies: CDPQ Colonial Partners, IFM (US) Colonial Pipeline 2, KKR-Keats Pipeline Investors, Koch Capital Investments Company, and Shell Midstream Operating.

Ignore these outdated myths about inside design

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Ignore these outdated myths about inside design

Illustration for article titled Ignore These Outdated Interior Design MythsPhoto: Photographee.eu (Shutterstock)

Like fashion, furnishing styles are cyclical and constantly evolving. (Except seeing your family’s old sofa model in a vintage furniture store is much less depressing than seeing a young person wearing a (19) 90s costume for a retro school day.)

However, there are a number of factors that determine the way we decorate our homes, including our budget, aesthetic preferences, and health concerns. While some trends come and go, others have morphed into generally accepted conventions that many people do not want to question – despite the fact that their original purposes may no longer be relevant.

Let’s take a look at some examples of outdated interior design rules and myths that you can appropriately ignore Ruth Doherty at Homes & Gardens.

Small rooms must be painted white (or at least a light color)

The idea here is that if you paint the walls white (or some other light shade) you can fool yourself and your guests into thinking that a tiny bedroom is actually a spacious suite. But interior designer Brianne Bishop has a different attitude.

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“Dark color doesn’t make rooms any smaller. I actually use this trick the other way around, ”she said tells Homes & Gardens. “Adding depth to a wall creates the illusion of pushing the wall back and feeling bigger.”

Every room should look like a department store

Over time, not only have furniture and home decor styles evolved, but the way we shop for these items too. Once upon a time, The Thing To Do went into a special furniture or department store, bought a matching set of furniture, and then decorated the rest of the room accordingly.

But this is your home that we are talking about. Set it up and decorate it so that you are happy and comfortable. Even if things traditionally don’t go together. “Mix it up with complementary colors and bring in special pieces in a different style or vintage to spark interest in the room,” says the interior designer Mark Lavender tells Homes & Gardens. “A room doesn’t have to be sterile.”

Never mix metals

There’s no reason why you need to pick and stick to a metal finish for all of the furniture and furnishings in a room (or an entire house). If all of the standard lighting fixtures in your rental apartment are made of silver and you’re a fan of brass, get this mid-century modern brass lamp that you have been keeping an eye out for. Don’t let silver fittings be the cheapest type available when your building was being built, and dictate the style of what is now (at least temporarily) your space.

Not only that, but mixing metal surfaces can make an otherwise boring, revamped look stand out. “As long as you stay in the same family of cool and warm, you can mix metals, and black goes with both warm and cool metals,” Bishop said tells Homes & Gardens.

What you must know earlier than your shot

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What you must know earlier than your shot

Jason Wallace (C), Director of the Fathers, Men, and Boys Commission for the District of Columbia receives some emotional support from the director of the DC Office of Nightlife and Culture, Shawn Townsend (L), and Deputy Mayor John Falcicchio (R) a shot of the Johnson & Johnson coronavirus vaccine by DC Health Nurse Kendria Brown during a walk-in clinic at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Outdoor Performing Arts on May 6, 2021 in Washington, DC.

Chip Somodevilla | Getty Images

More than half of adults in the United States have received at least one dose of a Covid-19 vaccine. Many wonder if it is safe to celebrate their Covid shot with an alcohol shot when second doses come in and millions more are vaccinated soon.

Marijuana smokers who use the plant as a pain and anxiety reliever may also turn to the herb for treatment of side effects.

Bars across the country offer free beer if guests provide proof of vaccination. Some bars in New Jersey even offer a beer on-site during the vaccination.

“A glass of wine or beer is fine, but heavy drinking can suppress your immune system and should generally be avoided. As always, moderation is key,” Katherine Yang, clinical professor of pharmacy at the University of California at San Francisco told CNBC .

Dr. Anne Liu, an infectious disease doctor at Stanford Health, told CNBC that a celebratory drink or two is perfectly fine and it makes no difference whether you drink on the day of the vaccine or a week later.

“When people drink enough to affect their livers, it can affect their immune systems,” Liu said. “The liver is a very important organ for a normal immune response and people who have poor liver function for a variety of reasons may not respond well to the vaccine and are generally at greater risk of complications from Covid,” she said .

Marijuana depends on the type of consumption. Marijuana can be consumed in a variety of ways, from food to steam to smoke and much more. Cigarette smokers are particularly at risk for complications with Covid-19.

“Smoking has specific effects on blood vessels and the cardiovascular system,” said Liu. “What is not necessarily the case with other respiratory viruses, and was clearly the case with Covid, is that people with disorders of the blood vessels and the cardiovascular system are at a much higher risk of complications with Covid, which is why smokers are high priority in some cases had places to get the vaccine, “she said.

Consuming marijuana in ways other than smoking is probably okay: “While there are no studies on the effects of marijuana and Covid vaccines, it is unlikely to affect the immune response to vaccines,” Yang said. “However, it is possible that marijuana or wine could make side effects of the vaccine such as headache, nausea, or pain worse, so be careful.”

Regarding harder drugs like cocaine or ecstasy, Liu said we probably don’t know enough to be able to tell whether or not it’s safe.

“It is unlikely that anything in modest amounts of these substances will significantly affect your immune system … but it becomes a lot less predictable. If it’s something you use recreationally, maybe just skip it that day for a vaccine getting is celebration enough, “she said.

Experts generally agree that moderation is key when using marijuana or alcohol. If a person is already consuming these substances on a regular basis, it is probably okay to pour them out or roll them up on the day of your vaccination.

Pen15 Finest buddies Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle give delivery

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Pen15 Finest buddies Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle give delivery

Pen15 stars and co-creators Maya Erskine and Anna konkle are best friends in real life, and now they’re embarking on a brand new journey together: motherhood!

The actresses who play middle school versions of themselves in the Hulu comedy (along with a cast of age-appropriate teens) announced in January that they were both pregnant with their first child. At the time, Anna shared a photo of herself and Maya that kept her baby bump matching her Instagram story along with the headline “Yin and Yang”. Meanwhile, Maya also got emotional about their baby messages they shared, writing on her own Instagram, “BFFs make some future bffs.”

Now the “future BFFs” have arrived, according to the couple’s new interview with Vogue. Anna, who is engaged to the actor and writer Alex Beginner, gave birth to a little girl they named Essie Wunderle.

About the unusual middle name Anna told the magazine: “The middle name comes from my father’s side in honor of him. The Wunderles were known for having strong, future-oriented women. And my great-great-grandfather, also a Wunderle, went from selling candy from a street cart to a large factory where sweet corn was invented. ”

Assist your backyard thrive by pairing these vegetation

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Assist your backyard thrive by pairing these vegetation

Illustration for article titled Help Your Garden Thrive by Pairing These PlantsPhoto: Michael G McKinne (Shutterstock)

Like some people, certain plants feel more comfortable in pairs. Sure, they could survive on their own, but to really thrive, they need a special (plant) human by their side.

Known in the garden world as “companion plants” or “helpers”, these pairs have FWB relationships (foliage-with-benefit). Usually it’s about helping each other get nutrients or keeping pesky garden pests away. Remember, it has the horticultural buddy system.

If this sounds like something you might want to try in your own backyard, Rachel Brougham at BobVila.com has some suggestions for accompanying plants. Here are a few to note.

Plants that grow well in pairs

Need help playing Plant Matchmaker? Brougham has some recommendations::

basil

  • Fits well with: Tomatoes, potatoes, beets, cabbage, beans, asparagus, eggplant, chilli, peppers, marigolds

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Beets

  • Fits well with: Plants of the cabbage family, carrots, celery, corn, cucumber, garlic, strawberries, marigolds

Carrots

  • Fits well with: Cabbage, leek, lettuce, onions, chives, peas

Cucumbers

  • Fits well with: Beans, corn, peas, tomatoes, radishes, vegetables from the cabbage family, marigolds, oregano, nasturtiums

Lettuce (including Romaine, Bibb, and loose-leaf varieties)

  • Fits well with: Beets, carrots, onions, garlic, members of the cabbage family

Melons (watermelon, melon, honeydew)

  • Fits well with: Corn, pumpkins, radishes, squash, marigolds, oregano

Paprika (hot or mild)

  • Fits well with: Carrots, eggplants, onions, parsley, tomatoes, basil

Potatoes

  • Fits well with: Beans, cabbage plants, corn, eggplant, peas, horseradish

Pumpkin (butternut, carnival, other varieties)

  • Fits well with: Corn, melon, pumpkin, marigolds, oregano

tomatoes

  • Fits well with: Asparagus, carrots, celery, cucumber, onions, parsley, paprika, basil, dill, chives, mint

What now?

Enjoy your abundant harvest (s)! And if you’re not sure what to do with your cucumber and pumpkin jar, Lifehacker’s has plenty of recipes and other suggestions Pan vertical so you can stay healthy and well fed all summer long. In case you’re growing more than you can eat or give away, we’ve got plenty too canned goods– and preserve-related content to check out.

A Information to Depreciation Prices for First Time Automotive House owners, Cash Information

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A Information to Depreciation Prices for First Time Automotive House owners, Cash Information

Buying your first car is sure to be an exciting milestone.

However, before you actually become a proud car owner, it is important that you research these car depreciation numbers and figure out if the car you are keeping an eye on is causing a huge loss in the cost of your car.

This applies regardless of whether you are buying a new or a used car.

For those who don’t already know, car depreciation is very real: it shows you the real cost of owning and running your car on an annual basis, in addition to the cost of fuel, maintenance, and other costs that are likely to be incurred .

How to calculate the annual depreciation of your car

Here is a simple formula you can use to calculate the average annual depreciation of your car.

Annual depreciation = (total cost of the vehicle – sales value of the vehicle) / number of years of operation

Car depreciation is never constant over the 10 year life of your car.

A new car is usually written off more quickly in the first three years. So avoid selling your car unless you absolutely have to due to unforeseen circumstances.

What is the total cost of your vehicle?

To understand what adds to the total cost of your car, zoom in on the following components.

Open Market Value (OMV)

Put simply, your car’s open market value is the price paid or payable when a vehicle is imported into Singapore.

This is determined by Singapore Customs.

It includes things like the purchase price of the car, insurance, shipping, and any other costs associated with selling and delivering the car to Singapore.

ALSO READ: Singapore Used Car Buying Guide: Where To Buy And What To Check Out

Registration fee (RF)

The registration fee is a non-negotiable, flat-rate upfront tax of US $ 220 when you register a new car in Singapore. This amount is correct at the time of writing.

Additional registration fee (ARF)

The additional registration fee is a tiered tax that you must pay in advance when you register your vehicle.

The ARF ranges from 100 to 180 percent of your car’s open market value and can turn out to be a huge amount. Visit the LTA website for more information.

The open market value of your car (OMV) ARF rate (percentage of the OMV to be paid)
First S $ 20,000 100 percent
Next S $ 30,000 140 percent
Over S $ 50,000 180 percent

Authorization certificate (COE)

Anyone remotely interested in owning a car would know that cars are very expensive in Singapore due to COE.

This valuable certificate is essentially a license that entitles you to own a car in Singapore for a period of 10 years.

There are five categories grouped by vehicle type and / or engine power.

ALSO READ: The Ultimate Guide to Owning a Car in Singapore

Other things to consider

The cost of a car also includes GST, excise tax, and dealer surcharge. It will be good to spend some time reading our handy guide to servicing a car in Singapore.

What is the sales value of your vehicle?

A Information to Depreciation Prices for First Time Automotive House owners, Cash Information

When calculating the sales value of your car, keep the following in mind.

Discount on the preferred additional registration fee (PARF)

The PARF discount applies if you deregister your car within 10 years and its COE has never been renewed.

It’s a tiered tax refund between 50 and 75 percent of the Additional Registration Fee (ARF) paid based on the market value of your car.

Age of the car when deregistering PARF discount
<5 years 75 percent of the ARF paid
5 – 6 years 70 percent of the ARF paid
6 – 7 years 65 percent of the ARF paid
7 – 8 years 60 percent of the ARF paid
8 – 9 years 55 percent of the ARF paid
9-10 years 50 percent of the ARF paid
> 10 years N / A

COE discount

This discount is the proportionate amount of any unused COE that you may have left over at the time you de-register your car.

Use the following formula to calculate the amount of COE discount that you are eligible for:

COE discount = (quota premium paid x number of months remaining on your COE) / total no. Bought by COE months ago

The value of your body

This is the amount you get back if you scrap, sell to a used car dealer, or export your car. As a general rule of thumb, use the lowest amount as a safe guideline when calculating your auto depreciation cost.

ALSO READ: How to Scrap Your Car and How Much Money You Get Back

The resale value of your car

This is the amount you will receive when you sell your car in the used market. Many different factors can affect your car’s resale value, including:

  • Your car ran out of mileage before it was sold
  • Make, model and brand of your car
  • Condition of your car
  • How much you’ve modified your car
  • Demand and supply of used cars
  • And more…

Know your numbers

old

There’s no denying it – owning a car is expensive in Singapore.

As tedious as it is, you have to do your homework and crack those numbers when considering a large ticket item like a car.

Not only do you need to find out how much value your new car is likely to lose over the years you are likely to drive it, but you also need to know how much you can borrow when you get a car loan.

It is always a good idea to plan ahead, save, and find out if you can really comfortably afford a car before committing to buying a car.

Other car-related costs to consider include things like road tax, parking fees, car insurance, and car maintenance.

This article was first published on SingSaver.com.sg.

Ask your self these questions when you end up in a tough state of affairs

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Ask your self these questions when you end up in a tough state of affairs

Illustration for article titled Ask yourself these questions when in a difficult situationPhoto: Africa Studio (Shutterstock)

Despite our best efforts, from time to time most of us get into situations (some people more than others) where we have to make difficult and uncomfortable decisions. Perhaps there is no clear “right” answer, or it may be a lose-lose situation. Perhaps it is a person or scenario that not only makes you anxious, but that you actively fear or fear.

Everyone has their own strategies for dealing with these decisions when forced to make them. Some of these involve sitting in a dark corner and eating saltins covered with a weighted blanket, or simply ignoring a problem in hopes that it will magically go away.

But Catherine Andrews – life coach, teacher and writer behind it The Sunday Soother newsletter– takes a different approach: asking certain questions. Here’s what to know.

Why asking questions can help

By doing Edition of their newsletter from April 26, 2021Andrews shares her method for dealing with difficult decisions using a standard list of questions (we’ll get into that in a moment) to help her figure out what to do when she feels stuck. Here is Andrews::

I think a lot of people like my work and my coaching because I ask really good questions. I heard the concept of asking high quality questions a long time ago in order to identify high quality answers (whatever that means), and I’ve dismissed it as self-help fluff, but I’ve honestly got it through my work with myself and others figured out it’s true.

So whenever I am faced with difficult or anxious situations, or in an attack of fear or shame and a loop that threatens to take over, or really anytime, I return to this list of questions to keep reminding me Again and again, when I ask the right questions, I find the right answers.

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Questions to ask yourself when faced with a complicated decision or situation

Of course, not every approach works for everyone, but this one is worth a try. And so without further ado the questions:

  • Am I trying to read someone else’s intentions in this situation?
  • How could I give myself what I hope this other person will give me?
  • Does this thought arise out of shame or fear? What is a thought that I can have out of self-compassion or hope instead?
  • Can I name three things that I need right now?
  • Can I name three things that I could let go of now?
  • Can I find a way to make this 5% easier for myself?
  • Which answer feels easiest for me?
  • What if what felt right to me was right?
  • Who can benefit from how I think or feel right now?
  • Is there any way I can benefit from or protect myself from continuing to believe or act that way?
  • Where does this situation reflect a pain in me and how can I take care of this pain?
  • Where do I feel this in my body? What wisdom must this sensation tell me?
  • What decision would I make if nobody was watching or judging me?
  • 5 years later, what would tell me what to do?
  • What would it look like to trust?
  • Would that decision make my life bigger or smaller?
  • Is it true? (Hat tip to the great Byron Katie)
  • Do I want to keep thinking about this thing? Why or why not?

No, the “right decision” will not suddenly come to you in a vision after answering the last question on the list. However, according to Andrews, this exercise can be helpful “because sometimes simply rephrasing the right question can get you moving again to get a different perspective on a situation that feels hopeless.”

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