The past year has been tough for all of us, including our children. Many of our children are too young to be vaccinated and yet they are expected to return to classroom school in the fall, where, in addition to the normal school stressors, the added stress of dealing with last year’s events. Add in the fact that many children have had additional stressors as well, such as the illness of a family member, the loss of a parent, or a host of other pandemic-related issues, and that’s a lot.

“Some children may be hesitant or a little scared to reconnect and they may need a little assistance,” said Melissa Goldberg-Mintz, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at McGovern Medical School at UTHealth.

If you think your child may need additional help, there are a number of signs to look out for and resources to use.

Watch out for major changes in behavior

An important sign that your child needs help is everyone big changes in behavior. These include destructive behaviors directed against others or oneself, such as self-harm, alcohol or drug abuse, as well as disruptive behaviors such as B. Conduct in school or disputes.

Other signs include excessive worry or sadness, isolation from family and friends, changes in eating and sleeping habits, and signs of regression such as bed-wetting, tantrums, and excessive attachment.

Don’t overlook the subtle changes

Big behavior changes are a big red flag, but many children try to hide their struggles from their parents. As hard as you try, it tends to inevitably come out sooner or later.

Goldberg-Mintz likens children who hide their pain to holding a beach ball underwater. “It won’t stay under the water, it will fly up,” she said. “Not only that, it takes a lot of energy to keep it to yourself. This is what children do when they try to hide their pain, they push it under the surface. ”

It can be easy for parents dealing with problems of their own to overlook the faint signs that their child is having trouble. “Everyday life is stressful enough,” says Goldberg-Mintz. “If there isn’t any of the loud acting out behaviors, it can be easy to just get on with the status quo.”

Some of the more subtle signs may be when your child is less interested in being with their friends or participating in their usual activities. If so, it is best to be proactive so that your child can get the help they need before they reach a crisis point.

Your pediatrician and school are good resources

If you think your child needs additional help, contact your pediatrician or school first. Your pediatrician office should have a list of therapists they can recommend and suggestions for various treatment options. In the meantime, your school may have a counselor for your child to speak to and a list of therapists who can recommend them.

Parents make a huge difference

Even if you can’t protect your child from all the bad things that are going on in the world, being there for them can make all the difference. When it comes to surviving childhood trauma, parents can make all the difference, with the biggest factor in whether a child will thrive is the parent-child relationship.

“The parent-child relationship is critical to a child’s healing and thriving,” said Goldberg-Mintz. “Parents who can have warm, close relationships with their children are the children who are best.”

Being a parent means accepting that you cannot protect your child from all of the bad things in the world, including all of the stress and anxiety of the past year. But with your support, which in some cases means finding outside help, your children can thrive.