If you are like me, then you made a conscious decision to avoid all people under the age of 25. But sometimes you are stuck in a room with a tiny baby who just wants to cry and drool and that feels like you.The biggest fear is that they will poop on you.
Fortunately, we are smart adults and can easily outsmart a stupid baby to like us. After all, babies literally know nothing, and we at least know something, so let’s make them smile and giggle and love us unconditionally.
First, get them to recognize your face. Babies can see contrasts easily, so put on thick-rimmed glasses (or better yet, sunglasses) so they can see who you are. Growing a beard will also help you spot your face if you are able. While we’re on the subject of contrast, wear some clothes they’ll appreciate – black and white for infants and bright primary colors for toddlers. They also like anything that rattles or makes noise, so add some jingling trinkets that you can easily break off and shake around.
Then, bring some items that will establish you as fun additions. An empty box is a great, safe thing to play with that we adults inexplicably don’t enjoy. If a friendly dog is around, bring them with you and let the baby chase them or pet their fur, just be careful not to let them hurt each other. You can also park them in front of a mirror to make them think they have another baby to play with (Wow! Babies are stupid!). This works until the baby is around 18 months old.
And if all else fails, just play Peek-a-Boo. It will make them happy and not cry until they poop. Until then, you should be able to leave quickly.
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