If you are used to scrolling through a sea of profiles on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, or one of the big dating apps, finding a decent partner can be exhausting. But while instant confirmation from an app can be encouraging, once you meet someone you like, it might be better to slow things down.
What is “slow dating”?
It’s not a new idea, but the strategy of taking things slow in the early promotional phase is enjoying a revival. Slow dating is when two people let physical intimacy take a back seat to focus on other types of connection.
Waiting for sex may smell like a certain puritanical sensibility and probably won’t be very fun for most Americans since there are a lot of couples tend to have sex within the first month of dating in the USA Certain studies however, point out that the rush into a sexual relationship can lead to dissatisfaction across the board. This is not to say that any physical intimacy in the early days of a relationship will be a harbinger of bad things to come; Certainly, certain aspects of intimacy such as kissing, hugging, and other signs of affection have emerged Improving relationships both emotionally and sexually. In order to get there in the app-heavy climate of contemporary dating, many experts recommend slow dating not only to find the partner you are looking for, but also to answer certain questions about yourself and your own dating intentions.
As a psychologist Kate Balestrieri told Men’s Health:
At the core [slow dating] is a focus on getting to know fewer people at the same time so that you can stay present with them – and especially yourself – and thoroughly evaluate the quality of the connection.
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By and large, slow dating is about stepping back and judging your romantic endeavors from a higher height to better understand what you need beyond sex. Or as the psychologist Sara Konrath told NBC News in 2018: “It is based on the desire that people slow things down, get to know each other without so much pressure and rely on a high-quality connection and closeness.”
How do you slow down the date?
Dating apps can push you profile by profile, so limiting your usage might be a good idea – maybe swimming through Tinder or Bumble should be an activity that is only allowed on Tuesdays or Thursdays, for example. Also, be upfront with your information about what you are doing; There’s nothing wrong with being honest about holding back on sex – in fact, your dates will no doubt appreciate your openness.
Also, you are dating, so don’t be afraid to cast a wide net. This means that you can freely date more than one person at the same time. This is the dating coach Jess McCann told Ask Men, Saying:
I recommend filling your funnel with three or four prospects in the early stages of getting to know each other … as long as you don’t sleep with one of those prospects, you can slow them all down.
Of course, don’t be surprised if some of the people you’re trying to date think differently than you when it comes to immediate intimacy. However, you could be rewarded by finding someone who wants the same emotional connection as you, before the physical intimacy takes place.
