As his star rose and he started snapping parts in major blockbusters like Inception 2010 and X-Men Days of Future Past 2014, he began struggling with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. Page said he didn’t “know how to explain this to people, though [I was] An actor just putting on a t-shirt for a woman would make me feel so uncomfortable. “

But last December, he felt ready to share his truth and come out as a transgender on an Instagram post announcing that his pronouns are him / her and his name is Elliot. “I was finally able to be transgender,” he told the publication, “and fully let myself become who I am.”

At the time of publication, he was also in Toronto, as he told TIME, to recover from a top surgery. While Page noted that transgender people aren’t just about surgery – and for some, the surgery is unnecessary – he said that he could finally see himself in the mirror and feel good: “It completely changed my life.”

Although Page expected to receive love and support after his announcement, he was also preparing for “a massive amount of hate and transphobia” – and unfortunately it did. How is Page feeling today? “That feeling of real excitement and deep gratitude for having made it to this point in my life,” he said, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”