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If you are forced to deal with a narcissist for an extended period of time – whether you are unfortunate enough to be romantically involved with one or have one in your family – you will need to develop some coping skills, if only to lessen the emotional debris that these toxic people inevitably leave behind. And things are no different when you are only working with a narcissist.
Even if the pandemic is forcing many jobs into virtual space, escaping the manipulative and often destructive behavior of a narcissist in the workplace can be difficult. Now that more of us are starting to migrate back to physical offices, remembering how to deal with someone who exhibits these tendencies is more important than ever – especially when we’re in theirs for 40 hours a week or more Will be near.
What are the different types of narcissism?
Narcissism is a spectrum that works according to different degrees of severity. A generally first on The areas may be helpful to you when dealing with a suspected narcissist in the office. Broadly speaking, there are three types that have the following characteristics:
Grandiose narcissists: These larger than life personalities always need to be in the spotlight. They are people who yearn to be worshiped, often at the expense of others – people who like to be happy and often rise up. (Maybe this person is your boss.)
Vulnerable Narcissists: This term describes an extremely sensitive person who often develops a sense of self-worth by connecting with something they think is successful or great, such as an expensive clothing brand. Even so, this person is easily wounded, sometimes perceived as shy, and craves confirmation, even though they often think they are better than those around them.
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Malicious narcissists: This is by far the most destructive form of the disease. How Lifehacker pointed this out earlier this yearMalignant narcissism is usually a combination of different conditions, including narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), sadism, and paranoia. These people are more interested in hurting people directly than other narcissists.
Understanding the behavior you are dealing with can help you avoid getting drawn into the myriad of problems a narcissist wants to cause.
What To Do If You Are Working With A Narcissist
Narcissism can manifest itself differently in the workplace than it does at home or in a friendship or other close relationship. For example, a terrific narcissist might be inclined to claim credit for the work of his colleagues. When you are in close proximity to this type of person, it can be difficult for you to take ownership of your achievements.
In an article in Fast company in 2019Psychologist Art Markman had this to say about terrific narcissists in the workplace:
When working with a terrific narcissist, you need to realize that you will struggle to obtain credit for your contributions as narcissists tend to co-opt the credit for things that happen within their sphere of influence.
While it can be annoying to lose praise or even professional awards for someone who falsely claims credit for your work, it is wise to set some boundaries. Lisa Romano, a certified life coach who specializes in addiction and narcissistic abuse, says Lifehacker that any attempt to confront a narcissist will ultimately prove futile.
“When dealing with narcissists in the workplace, the important thing is to acknowledge that confronting them doesn’t work,” she says. “Trying to prove them wrong doesn’t work, and trying to hold them accountable doesn’t work. My advice is to focus [your] Aim and imagine that you are dealing with someone from space who does not follow ethical norms. “
So what can you practically do? Romano advises: “[documenting] Your work and [getting] others to log out and bypass the narcissistic agent. “Doing this, in addition to complaining about the situation as little as possible, is probably your best recourse, she advises. And this documentation is important – if it ever becomes necessary, you want to be able to accurately present your own work (along with timelines and facts) to the powers that be, she says.
If you are wrongly stripped of creditworthiness, presenting the problem to your manager may be a better option than discussing it face-to-face with someone who never sees your prospect. However, if the narcissist happens to be your manager, it depends on the behaviors they exude, writes Markman. Vulnerable narcissists will “appreciate everyone else’s successes, but they will also distribute the blame for failures among others without taking any part of it for themselves,” he notes.
Unfortunately, if you work among any of these groups of people, your best thing to do is to follow the advice above and do your best to get transferred from the department – or maybe find another job to help bridge the gap are ultimately hopeless.
A possible advantage?
While most narcissists aren’t fun in the long run, it is possible that having a terrific narcissist for a boss could actually give your career a boost. People with this personality type are usually quite magnetic and often rise to the top of their field, into managerial and even more powerful positions. Markman notes that if you position yourself correctly (and assuming your relationship is positive), “you may be drawn into that person’s inner circle and have a chance to rise with them in the organization.”
Also, in the event that you are unwilling to step into a narcissist’s sphere of influence, doing the exact opposite and staying as far away as possible is a good course of action. “I’ve learned that it helps me to divert my attention, focus, and energy away from such people in order to maintain a sense of peace,” says Romano.
And when it comes to your work environment, isn’t a sense of peace the best you can hope for?
