It is official a sloppy summer after the vaxwhich means people are on the go. Everyone goes out on dates and has fun, and that includes your ex. (Sorry!) But what if you do run into them? Well here is what you should be doing.
At first, don’t panic if you see your ex on a date
It sucks to see your ex with someone new. It really does, especially when they look like they’re having a good time. How really? How dare they walk away from you and do it publicly? Well, you dare. And to be honest, they have the right to go out and be happy. However, it could be painful, especially if you both stop going out and having fun near the end of the relationship.
When you see your ex frolicking around and enjoying the company of a new partner on the go, try to remind yourself that it’s okay. Take a few deep breaths and assess the situation. Did they see you Is it too late to look away and walk away? If they saw you and it’s too late, keep calm.
I played it out and lied – but it was definitely a panic reflex reaction.
“I immediately took my eyes off my ex and his date to avoid eye contact. I tried to hide behind my own date as we passed, but I’m sure he saw me, ”recalls Lucy B., a 26-year-old who saw an ex she once thought was her be “the love of” [her] life ”while he was dining with a new woman and she herself was dating a new friend. “I’m not a nail biter, so it was interesting that my first instinct was to bite my thumbnail, which caught the attention of my current boyfriend. I played it out and lied – but it was definitely a panic reflex reaction. “
Do not do that. Nobody is wrong in this situation. You can be outside and so can your ex. They broke up for a reason. Keep that in mind. Don’t romanticize the relationship or make yourself feel jealous or lonely just because you see them enjoying time with someone new.
If you can, find the humor in it
“When you have taken care of her, be gracious and kind. If you finished on good terms, be nice. Maybe send them a drink and their new date or say hello, depending on your surroundings, ”suggested Brent K., a 33-year-old in Salt Lake City who has bumped into ex-boyfriends many times, but especially when saw his ex-fiancée with his former best friend.
When Brent was out with a new woman, the duo saw their ex on a date with a new woman. He followed his own advice and sent in a round of drinks.
Alexis Marika, a 29-year-old in New York City, agreed that finding the humor in the situation is a good idea and said she “laughed at it” when she saw a former affair at the opera.
“There’s a good chance you’ll run into someone in the city. I always try to be the bigger person and either shrug or just hug them, ”she said.
Do you want them to miss you and remember you about how good you were for someone, or do you want them to be happy that it is over?
Try your best not to get petty
Resist the urge to make a scene even if the relationship ended badly.
“Ultimately, the way you handle the situation will leave a lasting impression on you,” said Brent. “Do you want them to miss you and remind you of how good you were, or do you want them to be happy that it is over? When you choose to be kind and caring, you are helping to make the world a better place. Remember, just because your relationship has ended doesn’t mean the two of you don’t deserve to be happy. “
Marika pointed out that some of her ex-encounters took place while working as a server. Once the same ex she had seen at the opera walked into her restaurant and she asked a colleague to serve him for fear he would cause a scene.
“I also served another ex while he was on a date,” she revealed. “I was just my normal me and he never made eye contact with me. In all honesty, I was confused as if he really thought I was going to do a scene in the restaurant three years later. But yeah, I guess he just wanted to pretend I didn’t exist. “
It is good advice to pretend the other person doesn’t exist when you feel like you are getting rude, confrontational, or avoiding contact altogether. Marika had a great approach entrusting another server with her first ex’s table, and her second ex had an equally great approach when he ignored her. Do whatever works for you to make sure the situation stays relaxed.
But get off as soon as possible
Look, using humor, acting kindly, or faking amnesia will only get you this far. In some cases, depending on how your relationship went and how much you’re still hurt, you may not be able to shake off seeing your ex on a date.
You can go You don’t have to prove anything to yourself or your ex by staying in a situation that upsets you or makes you feel uncomfortable.
“Do what I did: get out of there!” Said Andy Jenkins, a 25-year-old student in Dallas who once saw her ex-boyfriend go to the bar she was in. He was holding hands with another woman.
She continued, “There is no way you should get into the embarrassment – and probably the pain – of seeing your ex with someone else. This was an ex I broke up with and she was still difficult to see and there just isn’t a lot to learn about it by hanging out and watching her on a date, at least not in the most cases. My best advice is to do a literal army crawl and barrel roll if necessary. Save yourself the pain! “
“If it didn’t end well, ignore them. If you can’t, just go, ”added Brent, a real voice of sanity.
Your ex has already proven that there are plenty of other fish in the ocean when it comes to dating. You can prove that there are plenty of other bars or restaurants to visit when it comes to ex-free locations. Remember to put yourself and your wellbeing first. And when you get to the next bar you might order a stiff drink.
