We recently talked about what to do when your toddler is Beat or bite. While you surely hoped that your cute child wasn’t the type to hit or bite, you probably also knew that these are common things that many toddlers do out of frustration, attention, or because they lack the communication skills that are required to get their point across. What you may not have been prepared for was that they beat themselves.
Toddlers don’t just hit others to let go of their feelings. Sometimes they can turn these great feelings inward by hitting their head with their own hands, or by banging their head against a wall or other structure. While this is less common than hitting or biting others, it does happen and can be scary when it does. Let’s start with why a toddler could harm himself in this way.
Why toddlers beat themselves
A toddler can beat himself up for the same reasons as another toddler – frustration at not being able to fully communicate his or her wants, needs, or feelings. They may also seek the attention that the behavior gets, especially if you had a big reaction the first time – which wouldn’t be surprising as it may have been unexpected and shocking to you.
In some cases, as reported by Healthlineit can also be self-calming or sensory-seeking behavior:
Some children crave physical sensory experiences more than others or have a slightly subdued pain sensation. In response, they might beat themselves for the desire for physical stimulation. Some children also turn to repetitive physical movement to calm themselves down when they are stressed or tired.
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But unlike hitting or biting others, there is another reason a toddler might hit their head – they are in pain. If they are teething or have an ear infection and cannot communicate what they are feeling, they may hit the head to try to point it out or deal with it. If you notice them hitting your head or face at a certain point, it may be an indication that you are in pain. So look for other symptoms.
How to deal with it in the short term
When your toddler starts beating himself up, the first task is to 1) make sure he is physically safe and 2) help him calm down. This can mean covering corners or sharp edges when your head hits a piece of furniture, moving it or objects they use out of reach, and wrapping your arms around them in a bear hug that’s tight enough to prevent this from happening keep them from thrashing any further (but not too tight). How Very good family recommends:
Take your arms and prevent them from hitting themselves by blocking their fists. This action can be calming and possibly enough to calm your toddler and stop self harm. The goal is to create a safe, loving environment for children to relieve the pain or frustration they are feeling.
Especially when they’re looking for sensory input, a bear hug or this type of blockage can provide some of that input to help calm them down. You can also try showing them a safer way to express their frustration, e.g. For example, by hitting a pillow, stamping your feet, or breathing slowly and deeply. Depending on the child, a few drinks of water or a soft toy or pillow to squeeze out can be helpful.
Talk to them in a calming voice, and try to put into words their feelings and the situation by saying things like, “You seem to feel really crazy! It’s hard to leave the playground, isn’t it? I wish we could stay and play forever! “This helps them feel heard and understood and gives them the language they need to express their feelings.
How to deal with it in the long term
If hitting isn’t an isolated incident, it’s important to look for patterns or triggers. There may be a specific physical need, e.g. B. Hunger, thirst, teething, or tiredness. Knowing what their triggers are, you will be better able to avert the tantrum before it even starts, and you will eventually develop the language skills necessary to communicate those needs.
When in doubt, it’s always a good idea to speak to the pediatrician if you are concerned about the behavior. Especially here is when Healthline suggests that you make the call:
- You have tried using the usual strategies to stop the behavior and nothing has changed or it has gotten worse.
- Your child is self-injuring (there are bumps, bruises, or scratches).
- Your child has delayed speech or seems to be unable to hear you clearly.
- Your child is showing signs of physical illness such as fever, loss of appetite, tiredness, or irritability.
- Your child will also have symptoms of a developmental disorder such as autism spectrum disorder or sensory processing disorder.
Pediatricians often see these behaviors so they can get advice on whether something is likely to be a phase or when it is time to do a physical exam or refer you to a specialist. In the meantime, in addition to the strategies mentioned here, you may have other strategies that can be helpful for you and your child.
