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By the time you found this article, you have probably just gone through a series of interviews somewhere, thought you get on well with the hiring managers and not only are you qualified, but are a great fit with the company culture, then you have a devastating – and maybe even inexplicableRejection.

Hello, it happens. It sucks now, especially when you have a job you hate or are in a financial crisis, but hope is not entirely lost. Here’s some advice from people who’ve been there – as declined and disapproved.

Give yourself time to feel bad about rejection

It’s okay to grieve a little. You’ve probably put a lot of work into your resume, cover letter, and job interview, not to mention all of the time spent going to school or building the skills that made you feel qualified. If you had a crush on a certain position the moment you read the listing, you are feeling heartbroken in the moment. It’s understandable and there’s no reason to be ashamed of the excitement.

Ashley Gross, a 26-year-old Chicago internet personality, told Lifehacker about a series of interviews and rejections she endured right out of college. Spoiler alert: She ended up doing fine – even better than good – when she found fulfillment and cash flow in her current career, but after the initial rejections, she was pretty baffled.

“I cried a lot, got high, had an ice cream, and then the next day I woke up and thought, ‘Okay, I’ll fucking make it so they’ll regret it,'” she recalls.

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It can take more than a night of self-care to overcome rejection, so give yourself grace, but remember that at the end of the grief there are still many chances of getting hired.

It was almost like a little motivator.

Channel your energy

Gross said that after her string of job rejections, she focused almost out of defiance on being successful. (Hey, whatever works.)

“Doors like this were slammed very hard in front of me over and over again,” she recalls. “I thought to myself, ‘I’ll do what I want to do. I will be successful. ‘ It was almost like a little motivator. “

Use rejection as a “little motivator” if that works for you. Laugh into the figurative face of rejection. Prove it wrong.

Even if you are extremely qualified, there may be half a dozen other candidates who are equally qualified.

Reason by looking for a job

When you’re submitting your resume or sitting across from a hiring manager in an uncomfortable suit, it seems like the application process is all about you. It’s hard to imagine the other people, competing or not competing with you for the role that you see so clearly that you are confident and that you do well.

Here’s the thing: there are probably quite a few people competing with you whether you see them or not, and the people doing your interviews probably aren’t going to give you a lot of details about them. (Would you be thrilled if they told other candidates about you?)

“Often times when I had a field of great candidates, I only picked one,” said Richard Joanis, who runs Telamon Corp. Headed for 33 years. He explained that even if you are extremely qualified, there can be half a dozen other candidates who are equally qualified. It’s impossible to know what made any of them preferred to you, and you shouldn’t spend your time stressing out about the unknown traits of someone you are likely to never meet. You can email the Settings Manager and Politely ask what you could do better, however.

However, Joanis emphasized that “you can only hire one person”. Sometimes you just aren’t that person. Try to focus on the times in the future if this is the case.

“First and foremost, I want nobody to feel less than they didn’t get the job. It’s not as personal as it feels, ”said Yasmine Soofi, a Los Angeles-based businesswoman who recently called a card game for couples. co-founded Therapist and mistress. “The truth is that sometimes other candidates just ‘fit’ the job description based on their qualifications or even their attitude. Attitude and first impressions are discussed and come into play behind the scenes. “

Again, you will not be privy to the internal conversations that are being held about you, but if employers are excluding you based on your attitudes or behavior, this is probably for the best. You know the company’s culture and have realized that you would not have fit in, which probably saved you from a miserable time. Keep this in mind, especially when you know you are qualified for the duties of the job.

come back

Joanis pointed out that every rejection should be taken with a bit of optimism: You “live in the field of candidates and it’s not over yet,” he said. You may not have been selected this time, but you are now on the hiring manager’s radar. If – or when – a job that suits you becomes available, find out first.

However, Gross noted that you don’t always have to be friendly. Think about the application and interview process. Were you treated with respect? Was the way you learned about your cancellation professional and polite? Have you been spooky or embarrassed at any point? If the process was unsavory, the work for the company can also be unsavory. A year after she confusedly told her about a possible job, a company suddenly offered Gross the job. She refused.

Despite all the rejections, Gross became more and more convinced that she wanted to make a career with social media. even she tweeted about some of her more brutal job hunting experiences. The tweets – about professional rejection, appointments and life as a young, ambitious, cat-loving woman – were understandable. They worked: Seriously, she’s making a living on social media now and she’s really happy.

Whether you’re applying for more positions, keeping hope alive for the company that turned you down, or reformatting your dreams to suit your skills, remember that opportunities still exist for you.

“Rejection never feels good and hurts, but it hurts worse if you sulk for too long and don’t pick up the broken pieces and restructure them to get the job you want,” advised Soofi. “While you sulk, someone else learns and gets the job you want.”

As you drown your worries in ice cream and a bubble bath, think carefully about what kind of career you really want, and don’t be surprised if you see your rejection as a blessing. Then go back out and pursue your dream job.