It is easy to compare yourself to others – especially those with whom you interact a lot, like your co-workers. And although nobody wants to be jealous of a colleague, sometimes it just happens. But the good news is that you can use that feeling to improve your own performance. Dr. Camille Johnson, associate dean and professor at San Jose State University, speaks this in an article for psychology today. Here’s what you should know.
Different types of envy
First of all, what is envy? According to Johnson, “Envy is the emotion caused by others having relatively more than you do.” But it is important to remember that there are different types of envy. Here is how Johnson explains:
A typical response to envy is to reduce this discrepancy between yourself and the other. This may include bringing the other person up to your level directly or indirectly, bringing yourself up to their level, or deciding that the entire area of comparison is worthless.
Benign vs. malignant
Dutch professor of marketing and human behavior expert Dr. Niels van de Ven says that there are two types of envy: benign and malignant. “Benign envy leads to an ascension motivation aimed at improving one’s position, and malicious envy leads to a withdrawal motivation aimed at damaging the position of the superior other,” explains Johnson.
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We have been conditioned to think that any kind of envy or jealousy is bad, but benign envy is different: it’s more about being dissatisfied with yourself than having negative feelings about someone else.
How to Use Benign Envy to Your Advantage
Once you’ve established that what you feel about your coworker is benign envy, you may as well be taking advantage of it. Benign envy comes from a place of admiration rather than resentment, and therefore can give you the kick-start you need to work a little harder. Here’s how it works, according to Johnson:
Focus on what you are in control of and the results you want. When people focus on the other person’s characteristics rather than their own goals, they get stuck. Instead, you may need to change jobs, find areas where you can be successful, or seek mentors and advice to improve your status.
