Photo: girls

Nowadays, no matter how early I wake up, I can’t reach the material plane before 2 p.m. and become a functioning person sporadic bouts of manic ability – but this mysterious increase in hours when I’m only technically awake is unusual even for me. At least three times this week I have dealt with one or the other friend in disbelief: “Time actually goes faster, doesn’t it? It’s not just getting-older, is it? And it’s not that I’m having fun. Nobody is having fun. So what is there? What-how-why and oh my god, will it always be like this? “

The general consensus among my friends is that Time really stepped on the gas, although no one can say exactly why. (There are theories! But that’s for explore someone else’s article.) Whether they are really serious or just trying to calm me down, I don’t know – but if it’s true, then I’ve brought a bike for a quick chase, and the futility of keeping it The pace is increasing day by day more clear. I finally gave up two nights ago. Somewhere in the fade between late afternoon and early evening, I stopped charging forward. I decided to go out on the balcony, sink into distant thoughts and enjoy the last of those warm summer nights. I decided to make a mojito.

Served high and filled with broken ice, it is a drink to linger, to dream, to gaze at the stars. “

The beauty of the mojito lies in its simplicity. In an industry that loves to make a fuss and innovate, the unadorned mojito is easy to overlook or relegate to the sidelines as a boring standard. That is, I have to say, the wrong approach. I love the mojito because it is harmonious and elemental: the gravel of the sugar, the cooling air of the mint, the freshwater effect of rum and lime. Served high and filled with broken ice, it is a drink to linger, to dream, to gaze at the stars. It’s the perfect drink when you don’t have time.

For those of you who are not suffering from maladaptive daydreaming, I urge you to consider the mojito nonetheless. Because its delicious. But it’s also sturdier than the average cocktail – perfect for packing in a thermos and taking to the park with a blanket and book. And because it’s so easy to prepare, having friends over is not a bad option either – simple staging makes production child’s play.

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Two ways to make a mojito

Here are two ways to make a mojito – the first is a bit more rustic and requires less prep, but the addition of lime zest can add a bitterness to the back end of the drink (if that’s what you’re against). The latter is arguably a more uniform composition, but may require a little more effort. To give up the hunting season you will need:

• ¾ Lime, cut into wedges
• 2 brown sugar cubes (white is good too)
• A handful of mint
• 2 ounces white rum (I personally love Havana Club 3 Años, but when I’m in the US I’ll replace it with Plantation 3-Star. But use the white rum you prefer.)

Mash the lime and sugar cubes in a shaker. You shouldn’t overwork the lime peel, but make sure the sugar cubes have been thoroughly mashed. You don’t have to mess up the mint because it’s so delicate; the shaking process is sufficient. Add mint and rum. Fill the shaker with broken ice and give it a quick shake – you are not trying to dilute; They just want the ingredients to be incorporated and the sugar grains spread out. Pour unscreened into a chilled glass.

To make the refined exit …

• 1 ounce of fresh lime juice
• 1 brown sugar cube
• ¾ simple syrup
• Handful of mint
• 2 ounces of white rum

First mix the sugar cubes with the lime juice, then add the mint, the sugar syrup and the rum. Top up with broken ice and shake briefly. Pour unscreened into a chilled glass.

If you find that your mojito is too sour or too sweet on both recipes, start adding a bar spoonful of plain syrup (if too sour) or a dash of lime juice (if too sweet) until it’s more to your taste. You have the time. Make it perfect.

Photo: SUKJAI FOTO (Shutterstock)

As we are all grappling with the summer spike in COVID-19 due to the Delta variant, there is also another virus that is widespread called the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (or RSV). RSV is an incredibly common respiratory virus that usually circulates between October and February. But with this year’s early surge kicking in right at the start of school, there are a few things parents should be aware of.

Initially, it is estimated to be two years of age almost all children will be infected with RSV– and it is possible to get infected several times. “Everyone has probably contracted RSV at least once in their life,” he said Dr. Michael Chang, an assistant professor of pediatrics at UTHealth Houston.

The vast majority of children who get RSV will have a mild case – they may develop a runny nose, cough, and even a high fever, but they will recover well. For adults, RSV usually only feels like a bad cold if there are any symptoms. However, more serious cases can and will occur.

Some children have to be hospitalized for RSV

Although the vast majority of children will be fine, some will develop a severe case of RSV that requires hospitalization. If the case is severe, there is a risk of either developing bronchiolitis, which causes the small airways in the lungs to become inflamed, or pneumonia.

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An average year becomes an estimated 58,000 children are hospitalized for RSV, the average length of stay is one to two days. Although deaths from RSV are rare, hospitalization for a severe RSV case is not required.

Severe cases of RSV usually occur in young infants

Severe cases of RSV usually occur in young infants, who are generally less than six months old, and in children with lung or heart problems. This includes children with congenital heart defects as well as children under the age of two who were born prematurely due to their more vulnerable lungs.

For children at high risk of complications from RSV, there is one Drug called palivizumab This can help prevent serious illness from the virus, although it cannot cure or treat children who already have severe RSV. Unfortunately, there is still no vaccine against RSV.

If your child has RSV and is having difficulty breathing, or you hear a whistling sound when exhaling, it is a sign they need to go to the emergency room or hospital. If babies are breathing quickly or taking longer to feed, it is a sign that they need medical attention.

We are currently seeing a summer surge in RSV

Given all of the COVID-19 precautions over the past year and a half, doctors didn’t see very many RSV cases over the winter. However, when the precautions were lifted and people got off, RSV cases spiked in an off-season summer surge that many doctors, including infectious disease experts like Chang, hadn’t anticipated.

Currently, doctors are seeing a rate of RSV cases that is consistent, if not higher, than what they typically see in winter. “It all happens in mid-August and July, which is totally unusual for RSV,” said Chang.

RSV hospital admissions coincide with COVID-19 hospital admissions

Unfortunately, this means that the children who develop severe RSV cases end up in hospital at a time when capacities are already exhausted due to COVID. There are many accidents in pediatric intensive care units in the summer, while there are many cases of flu and RSV in the winter.

“Usually the RSV will peak and maybe start to decline, then the flu will come,” said Chang. “We usually see that every winter.”

Right now they are seeing the usual summer accidents, an influx of RSV, as well as any additional COVID-19 patients. This means that hospitals that are full will have to move some of their patients to another location.

“We will always find a bed for you, but it could be in a different condition,” said Chang.

COVID-19 precautions work really well for RSV

The good news is that COVID-19 precautions are also incredibly effective in preventing the spread of RSV. “The interventions we are doing for COVID-19 – masks, physical distancing, hygiene – are the same ones you would do for RSV,” Chang said.

So mask yourself and keep washing your hands as this will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 but also RSV.

Losing a parent comes as close to a universal experience as it gets, but that doesn’t mean each of us is truly prepared. If it happens to your significant other, you may not know how to help them deal with grief and coping, but that is one of your duties as a partner. This is how you can be there for a partner whose parents have died.

Know that grief looks different every day

There are “stages” of grief as identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969: denial, anger, negotiations, depression and acceptance. Self-help books also often say some form of the phrase “grief is not linear”. Taken together, you can expect all of this to add up to a confusing amount of time as your partner goes through these stages, sometimes several times a day.

Remember that there is no wrong way to grieve and it is your job to deal with it

Know that everything they do and how they react is normal. There is no single pattern of grief, and your response to a parent’s death may depend on a number of factors, all of which you are not aware of. Your relationship with this parent as a child, your existing relationship, the nature of your death, and your mental state can all play a role.

Even if their grief looks different than you would express yours, don’t discredit them. Wake up every day to meet them where they are and give them unconditional support. Ann Sano, a 25-year-old New Yorker whose mother died at the age of 13, said, “I still don’t know how to deal with this. I make jokes that are probably uncomfortable for people, but it’s my way of healing. “

If your partner is taking an approach that you find disturbing or uncomfortable, perhaps joking or aloof, remember that there is no wrong way to grieve and it is your job to roll around with it and be there if that seems like it unaffected behavior ceases.

Make it clear again and again that you are there for them and that you are on this journey together.

Conversely, if your partner is in an “angry” phase, work extra hard not to give in to them when they attack you. If you find yourself in a “depression” phase, understand and do not try to force them back to normal. The normality that they are used to is over and they have to learn to find their way around without these parents, no matter what kind of relationship they had, and it takes a lot of time.

Expect that your partner might be aloof for a while too. Sano told Lifehacker that her mother’s death created a “void” that led her to turn down help from anyone, including potential friends. She is in a happy relationship now, she added, but that took time.

What this all boils down to is the fact that you need to be ready to evolve in accordance with them and you need to understand. Tell them that you are doing your best to understand them and that you know they are having a hard time. Make it clear again and again that you are there for them and that you are on this journey together.

Patience is most important

Sano said her biggest piece of advice to anyone helping a partner if a parent dies is “patient”.

“Patience is literally the key to being there for someone who is grieving,” she added. “Sometimes I just want to sit in a car for hours and cry in silence. Sometimes my fear prevails. Sometimes I get jealous when I see others with their mothers. All I can say is, ‘Be patient with us.’ We went through hell and back. We may need a second, a minute, an hour or a day, but we will recover, so please be patient with us and understand that we are only human and don’t want to be rude, quiet, sad, angry. or whatever we feel. “

Listen to your partner

Your partner may be completely silent about his dead parents or he may bring them up – often. It might seem like all they’re talking about now is death. If so, that’s fine. Try not to get tired of the subject; Your partner is hurt and needs you to listen. Remember that one day you will be in this position too and you want someone to listen to you.

Don’t think of every emotional outburst as something that needs to be stopped.

“It’s hard to say how a partner can be supportive because knowing what kind of support a person needs when they’re in grief isn’t always easy,” warned Meaghan McGoldrick, a 30-year-old New Yorker who has both parents lost and founded an annual benefit concert, Cancer cannot kill loveto honor them. “Grief is not linear, which makes the support process just as rocky. But the best way a partner can be there – or at least what works for my partner and me – is to start listening and feeling. Listen to your partner when they’re having a tough day or just want to tell a 40-minute story about their loved one that has nothing to do with anything. “

If they show interest in counseling or say something that sets off alarm bells in your head, don’t fire them. This is a very difficult time and you may not be thinking clearly. You have to take on an additional level of rationality for a while.

There are times when they won’t tell you how they are feeling. You have to ask.

Make her cry too. It may feel natural to jump in and try to get them out, but allowing them to feel and express even their saddest emotions is critical to their healing. Don’t look at every emotional outburst as something that needs to be stopped. Sure, when they cry, get them some ice cream or hug them, but don’t pull out all the stops to finish the phrase. You have to let it out.

There are times when they won’t tell you how they are feeling. You have to ask. Ask how they are doing and what they need, both in the immediate aftermath of death and on particularly difficult days, such as their first parentless family vacation or their parents’ birthday. Some people have a hard time asking what they need, so make this part a little easier by reminding them that you are there for them.

Put in work

After a parent dies, your partner is unlikely to become their normal you anymore. Dishes can pile up. Messages can go unanswered. Show that you are by their side by stepping in and making some of this work easier. Tidying up, making and bringing food, and acting as a barrier between them and well-meaning but invasive people.

Every family situation is different, but it is not unreasonable to assume that you were also close to this parent and feel your own grief. Don’t ignore this sadness.

You will get a lot of messages and calls. Retelling the story to people at different levels of acquaintance or taking on a composite facade is exhausting, so intervene if you can, if they seem open to it. You can be a great advocate for them by making sure cliché platitudes and curious questions don’t get through and the house stays intact while they devote the time they would normally spend on grief, funeral plans, and healing.

“After these signs, feel that you may not need advice or ‘things are getting easier’. At some point it becomes easier to know when they only need one ear and when to stay in the other room while they do the movements. Sometimes a drink doesn’t hurt, ”advised McGoldrick.

The grief doesn’t stop after the funeral flowers and casseroles stop rolling either. This will be hard for a long time and the pain will never really go away. As the partner of a grieving person, you will always be in service somehow, so prepare for the long haul.

“Having my boyfriend now for anniversaries, birthdays, or just hard days in general is a huge help as we do activities to keep my mind occupied,” said Sano. “We make sure that we also visit my mother on these special days. It warms my heart when he says goodbye to my mother’s stone and kisses it. I think it gives me a sense of relief and happiness to know that he loves her as much as I do. The days when it happens to be difficult, he and I take these days one after the other because my emptiness still triggers my anxiety attacks and now he only helps to talk me out of everything I’m going through at this moment. “

Acknowledge your own grief

Every family situation is different, but it is not unreasonable to assume that you were also close to this parent and feel your own grief. Don’t ignore this sadness, even if it may feel like your partner’s sadness is more legitimate and deserves immediate attention. Your pain is important too, and if you push it away you will have difficulty healing and you will not be as good a partner as you could be.

Talk to your partner about the dead parent if they seem open to it. Share your own fond memories, maybe at the first time you met or the moment you knew the parents recognized you as a partner for their child. Tell them stories about the parents they may not even know, moments you and the parents shared in the room without them. You can work together on this healing journey. Don’t discredit your own feelings here.

If you have to cry, be it because of the loss or because you saw someone you love so upset, cry. Being open and honest with your feelings is a better way of honoring the deceased than allowing their death to tear your life apart. You have to be strong to be there for your child, so please do them their right by doing this as best you can.

Photo: Beth Skwarecki

When buying my first kayak and discussing options starting at $ 250, I came across a $ 99 inflatable kayak that seemed too good to be true. There must be a catch, I thought. This is by no means a real boat. Later, after I bought my real kayak, I noticed that the inflatable boat had dropped to $ 50. I picked it up. I had to know.

The one I bought is a Intex K1 Challenger. In the two or three years since I got it, I’ve noticed more and more inflatable kayaks popping up on the local lake, most of the same brand as me. The two K2 Explorer is also popular; I’ve seen kids fishing from them and couples enjoying using them to paddle around the lake.

From my experience I can say that a cheap inflatable kayak does the bare minimum of what a kayak needs to do. It keeps you afloat and lets you float through the water. It’s not a good boat, but maybe it doesn’t have to be. Here are some things to keep in mind when feeling tempted.

What is the weight limit for an inflatable kayak?

Regular kayaks usually have weight limits between 200 and 450 pounds. We mentioned last time that you want to have a higher capacity than you think, but it is especially important to be careful with inflatable boats as their weight limits are often very low.

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My Challenger only goes up to 165 pounds; The two person explorer I keep seeing around the lake is 400, which sounds like a lot until you remember having to put two people in there. There are likely other inflatables out there with higher weight limits, but if you are an adult, read the label carefully before purchasing.

That said, these kayaks are great for kids. My 120-pound son has no problem paddling around the lake in the Challenger. My kindergarten daughter loves it too; When I paddle with her, I tie her inflatable boat to the back of my regular kayak so I can pull her behind me.

How hard is it to inflate a kayak?

Photo: Beth Skwarecki

One of my concerns was that it would take forever to inflate the kayak, so I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it doesn’t. It only takes a few minutes to unpack the boat and get out on the water once you get the hang of it – including how the valves work.

Mine has a Boston valve that takes air in but not out, so it can be easily inflated without accidentally losing air. What makes it difficult is that it is stacked on top of a regular screw top valve for quick draining. The screw cap needs to be completely closed when inflating, but luckily you can open it all the way – for example, remove the valve from the boat – to quickly deflate.

The first time I used the kayak, I found one valve but not the other: we swam well around the lake and then had a hell of a lot of time to squeeze out the air to grab it and go home. Another time I ran into a couple who were having trouble inflating their kayak for the first time because the drain valve was loose; at this point I knew how both valves work and was able to show them the trick.

Once you know how to do it, it will take less than ten minutes – maybe five if you’re good – to get the boat ready. The included hand pump (it looks like a bicycle pump) is sufficient for the job; I don’t think an electric pump is necessary.

How does an inflatable kayak behave on the water?

To be completely honest, this isn’t a great boat. But you knew that when you bought it for $ 99 (or $ 50 on sale). Be sure to attach the plastic fin to the bottom and don’t set your expectations too high.

The boat turns on its opposite side with every stroke of the paddle, but that’s the nature of short, flat-bottomed craft. The supplied paddle isn’t the best either, but you can always buy your own paddle if that bothers you. (When I’m in the dinghy because I’m letting a kid or friend use the real kayak, we often switch paddles to make things a little fairer.)

In theory, an inflatable kayak could leak, but the material is tough and that has not happened to me yet. Nevertheless, I am glad that I only drive the boat where I could easily swim ashore in an emergency.

What is it like to store an inflatable kayak?

This is the part they won’t tell you about. Yes, an inflatable boat can be packed up in a confined space, but if you pull it out of the water it will get wet and likely muddy. In this state you don’t want to roll the thing into your little suitcase.

Maybe if you use your kayak on the beach and have plenty of time to dry it off in the sun before heading back, this could work. But often at dusk I find myself with a dripping boat in a gravel parking lot.

So I can get started quickly: First I remove the seat and footrest from the boat and throw them in the trunk without venting them. I break the paddle in half (instead of separating all five segments and folding them into its smallest shape) and toss it in too. Then I open the valves on the kayak itself. After a minute or two, I declare that it’s deflated enough. I roughly fold the thing in thirds and tip it, not yet completely dry or clean, onto everything else in the trunk.

I keep the dinghy in the trunk between trips and don’t clean it thoroughly until I put it back in the suitcase at the end of the season.

Conclusion: is this a good kayak? No. But is it a great way to get out on the water if you’re not ready to invest in a full size boat? Absolutely.