Her well-intentioned anonymous declaration of love to an unrequited crush wouldn’t pass anyone out on Valentine’s Day, and it won’t this year either. You may think that sending a loving, cryptic letter will turn the wheels in the recipient’s head and raise hope that someone out there (you) is destined to blow them off, but unfortunately, you may want all of this to forget. Love in our and our time doesn’t follow a storybook script, if at all, and there are reasons why an anonymous love note, bouquet, or box of chocolates can end up in a person’s trash can with a thud.
It can be considered immature
It’s one thing when you’re in third grade and you feel shy when you tell someone you like them, but it’s another when you’re an adult showing the emotional maturity of a shy third grader. If you are serious about building a relationship – even if you just want to test the water – it is best to be direct. Bypassing your feelings doesn’t mean you are necessarily an emotional foundation in a relationship.
You also need to ask yourself what might your identity be hidden for? Is it because the person you profess to love is in a relationship and you don’t want to help drive a wedge through the relationship even though you are? Are you trying to get her to like you by letting her feel the flutter of a gift and then adjusting to it afterward? You’re not really doing anyone a favor by signing an anonymous love letter on Valentine’s Day.
It can be considered scary (especially for women)
As in movies, an anonymous rose can work wonders when sent to a woman trapped in a loveless marriage. Perhaps the sender seems to really understand the woman in question, while her husband might not care. There’s a reason it’s a pop culture trope: Because it rarely, if ever, turns out like that.
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Also, if you are a man, you need to take into account that a woman might read an anonymous note and worry about being followed. It is a sad reality that predators exist, and it is probably cold comfort to know that whoever sent you a grooming package may not really have the best of intentions.
You can be mistaken for someone else
How much room do you want to allow for a total misfire? In one of several possible disaster scenarios, the object of your affection could mistakenly assume that your letter was sent from someone else. And what if your crush is looking for that person? It goes without saying that if you purposely omit your name, your affection can go undetected, and who really benefits from it?
All of this means that you should be comfortable sending someone a love note or gift this Valentine’s Day. Make sure, however, that there is complete transparency as to who the gift is from.
