Photo: XiXinXing (Shutterstock)
After spending so much time apart this summer thanks to COVID travel restrictions, family reunions have taken on a new meaning. In some cases, families have chosen to take these gatherings out on the streets and turn them into an intergenerational family vacation.
And while that might sound great in theory, if you’re crammed into an Airbnb with two real beds that says it sleeps 12 – and although everyone said they’d be fine on the air mattress over the group planning texts, now nobody is offer to sleep on it – you may reconsider your life choices.
But instead of fleeing to the nearest body of water and rowing a boat, there are a few tips to keep in mind that Paula Span compiled an article for the New York Times after consulting family dynamics experts and bringing in a few of our own to add to them – they might help.
Have a family conversation about pre-trip expectations
Everyone has their own idea of the perfect vacation, but traveling with a large group of people of different generations and with different preferences and rules can lead to a lot of disappointment and / or hurt feelings. So, before you travel, plan your vacation destinations and plans.
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This includes talking about housework, childcare, and money
Nobody (understandably) wants to be the person stuck cooking, cleaning, and childcare during a “vacation” so make sure you work out a schedule or rotation in advance so everyone knows who is responsible for what.
And as inconvenient as it is in your family, discuss how the group will share the costs. Does each family unit buy their own groceries? Is everything evenly divided? An awkward conversation can now prevent a blowout fight.
Enter with realistic expectations
From the very first planning meeting, it becomes clear that the journey is about compromises. As much as everyone says that it’s about relaxation and recreation, nothing about a multigenerational family vacation is remotely relaxing. So don’t think that you have time to yourself or that your group activity will be chosen.
Prepare yourself mentally for the unsolicited advice and / or criticism
We’ve all been stuck in our homes for so long, and at times it may have felt like you were in your own little world. But that is no longer the case – and you are dealing with other families and individuals who are also used to doing things their own way.
If you are a parent, you have probably already experienced the joy of receiving unsolicited, unwanted advice from family members, friends, and perhaps even strangers. Expect this to happen – along with a healthy dose of criticism of your cooking, upbringing, and pretty much everything else. Keep in mind that people have been keeping this for over a year, so there’s a good chance it all will come out around the campfire.
Also, keep in mind that the criticism can be subtle or disguised as a question. “Oh, that’s how you make a salad? I’ve never seen it like this before. “Or:” You’re going to cut little Johnny’s hair before school starts, aren’t you? “
Build downtime into the schedule
There is probably so much you want to see and do on your trip, but allowing for some downtime is a must. Everyone will be physically and likely emotionally exhausted (and possibly overstimulated from all of the people and activities) so make sure people have some time each day to relax – or at least regroup.
