When our education editor Meghan Walbert wrote a few weeks ago that it was her determined to learn to like to walk, some of the comments on this piece (and its episode) spoke out against the idea of liking something you hate. I want to suggest an alternate standpoint: trying things out that you expect them to hate is a fantastic way to find things that you will actually love.
In fact, I’ve found so many things that I love now. Here’s one: I hated coffee and even avoided coffee-flavored desserts. But one day I said, okay, let me try a bland coffee, and if I can finish a whole cup, maybe I’ll be less of a baby because of the bitterness. My intuition was right: after a week or two, coffee was a thing I could tolerate and soon afterwards it became a thing I was enjoying. I love it now. I drink it black.
I asked Lifehacker staff if they could relate to it and got a resounding yes. Here is personal finance writer Mike Winters:
Cook! In my twenties, I couldn’t fry an egg properly (the heat was too high for over a decade), but I also knew I had no idea what I was doing, which created a negative feedback loop of the discouragement that cooking appears left like a chore.
In my thirties I got more serious and used a handful of medicinal grade recipes for things like chili or salmon cooked with leeks, but it wasn’t until I got into subscription grocery boxes that cooking became less intimidating. I’m still not a cordon bleu, but at least I can improvise a proper meal if I have to.
As Mike’s story shows, sometimes we don’t like something because we’re not good at it yet. You get better at it and it suddenly becomes more pleasant.
Here’s more from Editor-in-Chief Jordan Calhoun for whom three things came to mind when I asked:
I hated working out in the morning. it was very difficult for me at first. And it would have been easy to stop and exercise later in the day, but I’m glad I made it through for a while. Now I enjoy what my busy schedule opens up for much more flexibility: Depending on how full my week is, I can move my training to the schedule that suits me and still have the motivation to leave.
Read too. There is a notable decline in reading that occurs in children – especially boys – when reading becomes less engaging compared to other leisure pursuits, and I have definitely been a victim of it. I hated reading. The fiction felt too slow compared to the cartoons I could see, and the nonfiction felt like school. Of course, reading can be a great pastime when you learn to sit quietly with a book and I’m glad I did.
I also learned to appreciate alternative sports – “alternative” for me, something different from the two sports I grew up doing, basketball and soccer. Other sports felt boring because I didn’t know how to watch them … I didn’t know when to get excited, how the game was going, or if a particular performance was spectacular or everyday. Learning to appreciate a new game meant feeling pretty bored and stupid at first, but I’m glad I made it through because sports like soccer and volleyball eventually became ones that I understood better and that I did learned to enjoy. Even games like poker or chess (especially games like poker and chess) felt absolutely boring when I didn’t know what I was seeing, but overcoming that hurdle made them good entertainment with skills that I admire. I’m glad I stuck it out and got through the learning curve instead of writing it off as too “boring” to take.
G / O Media can receive a commission
Sometimes you only understand when you try something for what it is. Is it fair to say you don’t like chess if you’ve never learned how the game works? Can you really say that you hate working out in the morning if you’ve never given it a chance?
I also asked on twitterand the trend continued. Sushi, roller coasters, hot yoga, ice swimming, zip lines, reality TV, opera, Brussels sprouts, mezcal and much more. Here is a story from a die-hard fan of K-pop icons BTS::
I’ve always had a certain amount of snobbery about pop music and thought BTS was a novelty to be ridiculed. But I was immediately struck by their sincerity and work ethic, which reminded me more of opera singers and ballerinas than “pop acts”. After a few music videos and interviews, I was there.
When I reflect on my own experiences, I’ve found almost everything I love by taking a risk on something I didn’t expect I would like. That’s why I’m so open to new experiences: so many of them worked out well for me. I hated sports and physical education when I was growing up; Now I train every day and participate in several weight training sports. My mission of practicing liking coffee was so successful that I did it for other bitter flavors as well, and now I’m a huge fan of beer, seltzer, and even black liquorice that I absolutely hated at first.
Sometimes hate takes time to turn to love. In other cases this happens immediately. The first time me bent a nail (one of those old fashioned strongman stunts), I just did it out of spite. It seemed so pointless, but I had met several people who were addicted to banging nails. I remember exactly the moment when a switch flicked in my brain: I had a thin steel rod wrapped in fabric and pushed into it with all my might. It didn’t bend and I had the thought, “Oh great, this is not just stupid, it’s stupid and impossible.” Suddenly the steel gave way, which was very nice, and my next thought was, “What else can I bend?”
The truth is, you can’t know if you like something until you find out why people like it and give yourself a chance to experience it. Sometimes the fun part isn’t available to beginners – like Lindy Hop, a dance where the basic step is also the hardest to learn – so you will need to invest your time and energy before figuring out whether it is for you or not.
This is easier to understand in some contexts than in others. We all know that you have to try a meal to see if you like it and that if you have had a bad experience with spinach, for example, you may still like a spinach dish if cooked differently. We’ve all seen these memes about the dad who doesn’t want a dog, and then In the end, he orders an individual t-shirt with the dog’s face.
Do yourself a favor and try something you always thought you hated. Pick the part of the experience that people like and give yourself a chance to like it too. You could just fall in love.
