Blowjobs don’t get the best representation in the media, especially in porn. There is a lot of mouth fucking, forced gagging, and ejaculating, but in real life blowjobs can be an incredibly fun experience for the giver. How to give a great blowjob and enjoy it at the same time.
Make yourself comfortable
On average, it takes men three to five minutes to orgasm, so you usually don’t have to worry about finding a position that is comfortable in the long run. Even so, you want to find a position that feels good to you. It is generally easiest to lie on your knees between your legs (put a blanket or pillow underneath if you are on a hard surface). He can sit on the edge of the bed or sofa (he can lean back if he wants) or stand. Being able to observe is an extremely hot part of the process so giving them a good view is nice. You can even position yourself in front of a mirror if you really want to play the voyeuristic aspect so the two of you can watch.
Do it right
You can warm up a bit by rubbing her cock over your underwear with your hand, but try to get to work relatively quickly. Most of the men I’ve spoken to don’t like to tease excessively, and it can even feel a little uncomfortable or ticklish. If you’re looking to tease, try sliding a tongue or finger under the waistband of her underwear before taking them off, or hold her cock in your hand while you ask her what to do with it.
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If it’s not all hard right after you take it off, take advantage of the situation by putting the entire penis in your mouth and twisting your tongue around it as it gets bigger. It might be the only time you get the whole thing in your mouth, so have fun. If it’s already erect, start at the base of your penis and do a few long, slow licks from the base to the tip. Keep your tongue wide and flat.
Find your rhythm in your basic movement
Once you’re ready to get down to business, you’ll want to get her cock nice and wet and establish some good basic technique. Slide your mouth up and down a few times while keeping your tongue pressed against the bottom of her tail. You want to try to close your mouth tightly without allowing contact with your teeth. Try to collect as much saliva as you can and slowly let it fall out of your mouth as you traverse her tail. At this point, don’t worry about getting too sloppy. The wetter the better.
Once you’ve smeared them, use your hand and mouth together. Most people’s mouths are not big enough to hold an average-sized penis. Hence, your hand is essential for coverage. Use it to stimulate most of the shaft and your mouth to stimulate the head. The shaft is usually the least sensitive part of the penis, so you can apply more pressure than you might think. The head of the penis is much more finely tuned for stimulation, so your warm, moist mouth will be greeted with pleasure. Wrap your dominant hand tightly around the base of her penis as if you were giving it a good handshake. Bring your lips down to meet your hand. Imagine with your mouth and fist taped together and moving the penis up and down for a minute or two. This is your standard move that you can return to at any time.
Get the balls involved
The testes are often criminally neglected during oral treatment. Once you are comfortable with your basic technique, it’s time to pay some attention to the balls. You can do this with either your hand or your mouth.
First, take your entire scrotum in your non-dominant hand. The testicles are delicate, so you need to find a good balance between gripping firmly (too light feels ticklish) and not too rough a grip. Roll the eggs around in your hand while continuing to suck the tail. Give the whole sack a couple of soft tugs. Then try to focus on her balls with your mouth. Keep your hand on her penis as you lick around her testicles with a wide, flat tongue. Put each ball in your mouth for a minute. You can also try licking between the balls, from the back of the scrotum to the front.
Explore other techniques
Once you’ve settled into your basics, it’s time to shake things up a little. Most men enjoy variety in the blowjob, however just like with cunnilingusEveryone likes different things. Use this exploration time to get a feel for what he likes best. Try two different techniques and ask them, “Which do you like better? This? Or this one? ”Or listen to the moans or the way your partner’s body is moving to get a feel for what is working.
Here are a few things to try:
- Try moving your tongue on the bottom of the penis as you perform your basic up and down maneuvers.
- Spend a little time focusing on the frenulum, which is the suture on the bottom of your penis. For many, this is the most sensitive area. Point your tongue and lick it up and down or side to side.
- Try sucking directly on the frenulum itself.
- Hold the base of the penis in your hand while moving your lips back and forth over the ridge between the head of the penis and the shaft. You only need to move about an inch.
- Do the basic stroke with your hand and mouth, but twist your wrist back and forth as you move up and down.
- Gently slap the penis on your tongue. This is a good step to see if your jaw needs a little break.
- For a longer break, you can rub your partner’s cock over your lips, face, or breasts (if you have them).
- Switch between just your mouth and just your hand.
You’ll want to try a few different things, but there’s no need to go crazy over 50 techniques in one session. Take your time to explore.
Go to the asshole
It’s sad enough the balls get so overlooked, but what really brings a tear to my eye is all of those poor, neglected assholes out there. Gay men are usually drawn into the magic of the asshole, but straight men can often be more squeamish. The anus is still pretty much off-limits in our society, but it’s time we all got over it. Your asshole feels good guys.
Even so, I recommend getting your partner’s explicit permission instead of just shooting at their butt. If your partner is a little shy or insecure, try stimulating the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the balls and the asshole (also known as a taint or basal). It’s not the asshole itself, so your partner may feel more comfortable having stimulated there. The perineum usually responds best to firm pressure. So try to push a single ankle into this area. You can try kneading the skin with your ankle or you can just apply pressure.
When your partner is ready for anal play, this is what you need to do Use some lubricant. I think silicone lubricant works best in this case. Place a swab on your index finger and slowly run your finger over your partner’s crack. Depending on how much hair there is, it may take a few tries to actually locate the asshole. Once you find it, you can simply press your fingertip against the opening. When your partner presses their hips against your hand, try slowly inserting your finger. You don’t have to go that far; even an inch or two works. Gently slide your finger in and out.
If you haven’t got this, you can go for the gold standard of great blowjobs – one finger in the asshole, the remaining fingers of that hand wrapped around the balls, the other hand on the cock and the cock in your mouth. Expect a blown load in no time. Seriously, anal play can really speed things up.
Decide what comes next
Ah, the age-old swallow or spit debate. As a sex therapist, the bottom line is that I can decide for myself what feels right for our sex life. If you’re really uncomfortable swallowing, keep a box of tissues nearby and discreetly spit it in when you’re done. If your partner is messy, you can show it off by sliding the cum out of your mouth onto them.
I would also invite the Spitters out there to ponder the Golden Rule. How would you feel if you saw your partner jump up right after you graduate and try to get rid of your juices asap? It would be hard not to feel confident about your genitals, and we’ve all had enough of that already, right? Genital fluids aren’t supposed to taste incredible, but we’re just talking about a quick sip of a few teaspoons. Also, it can quickly become an acquired taste.
Enthusiasm is king
If there is one tip that you should leave this whole article on, enthusiasm is the best quality in an incredible blowjob. There is nothing better than knowing that your partner is really enjoying having your cock in their mouth.
One of the most effective ways to show your enthusiasm is to start the blowjob. Surprise her when he walks in the door or when he wakes up in the morning. If you watch another Netflix marathon, tell them, “You know, I’d rather have your cock in my mouth now.” When you’re out for dinner, whisper, “Can we get out of here, please? I need to wrap my lips around your cock asap. “Maintain that excitement once you’re in the middle of a blowjob. Moan loud and energetic. Look them in the eye and smile. Take your penis out of your mouth and rub it all over your body. Keep telling them how hot it makes you to please them.
You will know when you’ve really taken a corner with your blowjob technique if you really enjoy it. After all, what better feeling than knowing that you are in full control of giving someone else an exquisite level of pleasure?
This story was originally published in July 2015 and updated on February 11, 2021 to be in line with Lifehacker style guidelines.
