When you get a good job, you feel grown up and confident. If your boss turns out to be one of them, constantly checking you out and overseeing your work, it can make you feel like a kid easily.

It is frustrating and counterproductive to have to detail every moment of the day instead of being left alone to do a good job. How to deal with a micromanager boss.

Talk to your boss about the situation calmly

If it looks like your boss is a nice – if neurotic – person who isn’t acting out of hostile motives, you should start by saying it. Set aside a short amount of time on her calendar for a one-on-one conversation and make sure you are assertive but gentle. Remember how you learned to express your feelings in elementary school: “I feel __________ when you __________ because I think it means __________.”

Actually, it could look like this: “I feel down when you watch me so closely because I think you don’t trust me to do my job well.”

In the chat that follows, remind them that you are showing them your results through your output, not minute-by-minute updates on what you are doing, how you are doing, and what you have accomplished that day. Ask your boss if he might leave you on your own for a week and not review your work until it’s done. Tell them you’d like to be seated for regular check-ins, but the fact that you have to report on every detail of your day is hindering your productivity.

A micromanaged manager is one who either doesn’t trust their team or isn’t really good at management, so follow the lead

Show, don’t tell

Roger Stephens, a sales rep in New York City, knows all about a boss who is far too interested in every detail of his job. This boss was so interested, he said, that he refused to give his real name here. (The only thing worse than a bad work environment is not a work environment, so let’s not fire Stephens for trying to help you.)

His advice to anyone in a similar situation is simple: you have to show the boss, not tell, that you can be left alone.

“I just shut them out and do my job as best I can and keep my head down. I literally only get through the day, ”he said. “As far as advice, that’s it. Do your job. Get in and get out. “

This has more to do with your boss than with you

Escalate the problem if you have to

If you’ve met or exceeded your job goals and talked to the manager in question, but you’re still being followed, it’s time to start up the chain, as we say in American companies. Your boss has a boss, and that bigger boss may be inclined to step in if the lower boss creates a dire situation for the employees.

On the other hand, your boss’s fearful style could be a reflection of the pressure he’s getting from above, so feel the vibes as you proceed. If the bigger boss is just as micromanaging and intense, this may not work.

However, if they seem a little calmer, go to this meeting prepared. Keep examples of emails, slacks, or face-to-face communications with your arrogant boss and a record of the work that those communications related. Show the senior boss once again that you are productive on your own and that you don’t need extra needles or babysitting.

“If it gets to the point that you can’t take it anymore, speak to someone in a higher position and explain how you are feeling,” said Stephens. “You also have to write everything down. If they send you a task and you’ve already completed it, write it down. If they give you a problem with it, write it down. When everyone finally sits down, you will have all the evidence that you are being teased. “

Remember, this probably isn’t really about you

If you are not really bad at your job – and if you are, get fit! – this has more to do with your boss than with you. They are likely nervous that they are not an effective leader or cannot get results, so they are projecting this uncertainty.

Rest assured that if you achieve your goals and get your tasks done, you will be fine. You have more to offer than your job title anyway, so don’t let that legwork affect your self-image.

“A micromanaged manager either doesn’t trust his team or isn’t really good at managing, so stick to the book,” said Stephens, still empathizing with what that meant for someone’s boss must level: “That is understandable because everyone has to play their role.”

Regardless, he added, a micromanager boss “has no confidence in himself or the way he manages,” so it’s up to you to keep the spirits high, document everything, and escalate the problem, until someone listens. When nobody is listening Here are a few tips on how to find a new job without your current boss knowing about it.