While there aren’t any set criteria for what makes a person intimidating, it’s usually a combination of how your past interactions with them have been (if applicable) and your perception of that person as being smarter, more organized, better prepared, funnier, more attractive, more charismatic and / or more powerful than you. And once you get in mind that someone is intimidating, it can be difficult to convince yourself.
Fortunately, there are ways to make speaking to someone you find intimidating a little easier – something Kelsey Borresen at Huffington Post covered in a recent article. Here are some expert-backed tips to help you master the conversation.
Come prepared
Knowing ahead of time that you are talking to someone you find intimidating – like during a meeting or a specific event – should at least get some idea of what to say. No, that doesn’t mean writing, memorizing, and reciting a script – just a few general bullet points are enough, Borresen writes.
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Remind yourself that this person is also a (flawed) person
Just because you see someone as beneficial to you doesn’t mean they aren’t a complex person with fears and mistakes. “Tell yourself this person has breakfast just like me. This person is sad just like me. It helps to change your view of the person from “intimidating” to “human”, “communication coach” Jennifer Kammeyer he said Huffington Post.
Don’t forget what to bring to the interview
No matter how intimidated you are by this person, it doesn’t take away your strengths, so lean into them. “Before you get involved, remember why you are there,” Kammeyer told the Huffington Post. “Someone else invited you to the meeting or community service for a reason. Tell yourself why you were invited and how you are adding value. “
Use your body language to your advantage
This goes beyond not crouching or crouching or making it clear that you are intimidated by this person and actually using your body language as a means to ground yourself during the conversation. Instructions are provided here, courtesy of Kammeyer:
Stand with your feet hip-width apart or sit with your knees hip-width apart and both feet on the floor. Do not cross your legs or arms. Focus on the feeling of your feet literally grounding you. Focus on keeping your posture upright and having a strong stomach and back. Grounding yourself physically will help with confidence.
Even if you don’t feel confident, you can at least see the part.
