My previous, more expensive area in Portland was within walking distance. I could go on foot and find almost anything: groceries, cocktails, pad thai, antiques, coffee; Everything was alright. What I couldn’t find was a good bagel. The best I could do was a “bagel shop” with cute t-shirts and very mediocre bagels, although luckily (or maybe unfortunately) their veggie cream cheese was excellent – so excellent that I kept coming back for the Schmear decided to order from someone else? shitty bagel. But those days are over.
I live much further south and much further east now, and this particular meal is just not worth the drive. Fortunately, great veggie cream cheese is very easy to make in the comfort of my own kitchen, and it’s a fantastic way to use up those last handfuls of vegetables that I hang in my fridge. (It’s also a great way to start my day in a slightly hypocritical way; see, I eat vegetables with my breakfast.)
You’ll need at least 1/3 cup of coarsely chopped vegetables per 8-ounce block of cream cheese, but you can increase it to half a cup – or even 3/4 of a cup – if you like more texture in your spread. Some raw vegetables are fine, but vegetables that have softened – either from heat, salt, acid, or knife work – are best mixed with the cream. This morning I made a Schmear with roasted rainbow carrots, a couple air-fried shishitos, and a couple of fresh spring onions. It was the perfect combination of sweet, fresh, and spicy (as I was lucky enough to get a hot shishito in the mix). I plan to make another one with pickled shallots.
In addition to the vegetables, you will feel better if you season your Schmear a little. Salt works, but this spread works best with a hint of umami. You can use a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce to add a deep, wicked saltiness, or a small scoop of marmite if you’re a vegetarian. Either way, you’ll just want to add enough to color the cream cheese the lightest beige – the taste should complement the vegetables, but not darken them.
