Photo: CRISTIAN HERNANDEZ / Contributor (Getty Images)
This week’s internet has a pee doctor grumbling, a porn site that has banned porn, and some huge waves. (Kids like weird shit.)
TikTok Doctor: Don’t pee in the shower
In one current video, TikTok Doctor (TikTokTor?) Alicia Jeffery-Thomas made a little internet shit by listing bad urination habits. Including: Pee in the shower. Jeffery-Thomas, a certified pelvic floor physiotherapist, says that peeing in the shower can make you let go, like one of Pavlov’s dogs, when you hear running water. This makes visits to local wells embarrassing. Also, according to the doc, standing in the shower isn’t an optimal pee position for those who lack prostate glands.
Jeffery-Thomas’ warning about shower brushes sparked hundreds of defiant comments on TikTok such as, “I’m going to be real here. Imma keep peeing in the shower. ”“ I’m just trying to save water. It’s not that deep “and” Wrong. It’s about the bubble. ”
Since it was made by Dr. Alicia “Pee Police” Jeffery-Thomas is not specifically prohibited, I will continue to pee in your pool.
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OnlyFans slows down sexually explicit content
In the most surprising technology announcement by companies since McDonald’s announced it wasn’t selling burgers, content sharing site OnlyFans announced that it would ban users from posting sexually explicit content. Instead of serving the fans of Internet sex workers, who currently account for almost all of the 130 million visitors to the site, OnlyFans aims to become a forum for “musicians, fitness trainers and chefs”. (I guess there aren’t enough musicians, fitness trainers, and cooks on YouTube.)
While nudity is not banned on the site, more, uh, extreme forms of content will no longer conform to the Only Fans TOS as of October.
The switch is due to pressure from banking partners and payment providers who are apparently suspicious of being such a big part of the pornography industry. Corresponding Bloomberg, OnlyFans “seeks to raise money from outside investors valued at over $ 1 billion”.
I’m not a financial expert, but OnlyFans may need to start an OnlyFans to make ends meet.
This Week in Video Games: You have your company in my Fortnite
Fortnite has a brand new one Game mode this week, but it sounds strangely familiar. “Impostor” is a dead wrestler for Among Us. “Borrowing” games from other games isn’t new, but Fortnite’s new mode seems particularly egregious – it’s just like it is among us, right down to the terminology, game mechanics, and even the cards.
Marcus Bromander, co-founder of the Among Us. has made tweeted, “We have not patented the under us mechanism. I don’t think that will lead to a healthy gaming industry. But is it really that hard to put 10% more effort into giving it its own spin? “
Shots, as they say, were fired.
TikTok trend of the week: snitching
I come from the old school where sneaks were either sewn or ended up in trenches, but today’s kids are actually cool with sniffing. At least the TikTok users who make up the SnitchTok-Verse are.
Here’s what they’re up to: They search other people’s online footprints for questionable content – having an affair, bragging about sexual exploits, partying too harshly, etc. – and then making videos exposing these nonsense their own spouse, Parents, friends and employers. Fun. Here are some scary Examples.
It’s one thing to expose racists and criminals through internet video, but tell someone’s mom when they post a slightly sexy video? Come on, younger people.
Student post during the fall of Afghanistan
Lord Miles Routledge found yourself in a “little pickle” last week: The British university student says he was on vacation in Afghanistan (like you) and was implicated in the Taliban’s takeover of the country. Stranded in the war-torn nation, Routledge has posted about it like a true Gen-Z member, boldly posted videos on Facebook and Twitch, and updated threads on 4Chan during its tumultuous week.
If you believe his story, Routledge (who’s not really a lord – long story) arrived in Kabul on August 13th and posted on 4chan on Friday:. “Just silly and soak up the sun. Seems to me to be more peaceful than London. “
“The secret services show that the capital can be taken over in 30 days; but not in a few days, ”he wrote on Sunday. “If I’m wrong and die, cut a laughing soundtrack over my posts. It’ll be fun, I think. “
It wasn’t that funny when Routledge couldn’t get a flight out of town, had knives pulled to himself and had to hide in a safe house, resulting in 12 hours of darkness on social media and online speculation that it had been he killed or captured.
Fortunately, Routledge was evacuated to Dubai. “I’m fine. Evacuated at 4 am (it is now 2 am) with about 100 other civilians,” he wrote. “The Taliban let us through the airport and we met many of them … everyone smiled and waved to each other , some took selfies. “
All of this could be an elaborate troll, complete with photos and receipts, but if so, it’s a very good troll, and maybe a fake happy ending is the best we can get out of Afghanistan for a while.
Viral Video of the Week: Gnarly Waves in Tahiti
Before the internet, I couldn’t have known the surfing conditions in the Polynesian village of Teahupoʻo, Tahiti, but thanks to YouTube I know that the waves on Friday the 13th were absolutely monstrous. I’m talking about ripping up buoys and breaking across the marina. Cowabunga! (Surfers totally say that, brah.)
Teahupoʻo swells are considered to be the fastest, heaviest and most dangerous waves on earth– You can’t even catch them without being towed in by a jet ski – but big wave surfers rode them anyway and brought me an amazing video of Death Defiance to enjoy from the safety of my desk while eating a personal pizza . Watching crazy people ride on waves the size of buildings is just amazing. Check it out … if you dare.