Image for article titled The Out-of-Touch Adults' Guide To Kid Culture: Who The Hell Is Emma Chamberlain?

This week is all about forbidden knowledge, so read on for a look inside the hidden worlds of YouTube celebrities, superhero sexuality, fast food fries, and the White House itself.

Celebrity You’ve Never Heard Of Before: Emma Chamberlain

You’ve probably never heard of it Emma Chamberlain, but the 20-year-old has nearly 20 million followers on her YouTube and Insta, a hit podcast, and millions of dollars, and she did everything by being authentic.

While most internet influencers spend a lot of time and money presenting themselves in a perfect light and carefully controlling every aspect of their personal brand, Chamberlain lets it all hang out. She wears no makeup, her hair is messy, she doesn’t censor her strangest thoughts, and her videos are shaky real documents shot on her iPhone instead of cleverly produced self-promotion. The children identify with her.

Chamberlain’s newest video, Changes, is a 20-minute excerpt from life in Emma’s world, where she says to the camera: “I’m the worst with avocados” and “in most of my pants it’s like a limp town in my buttocks region”. and “I love wearing a hat, but I get the next level of sweaty forehead.”

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If I ignore the fact that her “authenticity” is made up as much as anything else, I have to admit that Emma’s videos really feel like hanging out and talking to a 20 year old; mainly because they make me scream, “Jesus, who cares?” Then I remember that other 20-year-olds clearly care and that boys’ narcissism is a necessary step in forging an identity and realizing how little you count.

This week in Memes: The Delta variant is coming for your autumn plans

This week’s hot meme on the internet sheds light on the rise of the delta variant of COVID-19. And this is how it works: You label a picture of a hopeful thing – let’s say a figure from a film or a historical figure – with “My Autumn Plans”, then label a second picture “The Delta Variant”, which shows the thing, the Brings tragedy. So a southern plantation could be called “My Autumn Plans” and Sherman marches to the sea would be “the delta variant”. (In practice, it’s funnier than the description, trust me.) Anyway, here are some from my Favorites.

This week in the comic: Robin likes men

It’s not exactly a surprise – I mean, they call him “Boy Wonder” – but it turns out that Batman’s pal Robin likes other men. The third “Robin” in particular, Tim Drake, is bisexual. Drake, who has supported Batman since 1989, can be seen in the comic book anthology Batman: Urban Legends, and in issue # 6, Drake goes out with another boy and confesses his feelings – gay feelings. Drake joins Deadpool, Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn, and Loki as superheroes who enjoy same-sex relationships. I don’t want to spread rumors, but I’m pretty sure Aquaman is playing both sides of the fence, too.

This week in TikTok Trends: Sisterhood Girl Invasion

I love using TikTok to examine weird subcultures that I avoid all my life, such as college girls inciting student unions at the University of Alabama. The almighty TikTok algorithm (praise its name) started serving a boatload of would-be Greeks from ‘bama this week, with PNM (potential new members) uploading videos of themselves showing theirs OOTD (Outfit of the day) detailed the Brands that wear them, Parties they go to, and otherwise very… being blonde. You are so blonde.

As you’d probably expect, TikTok’s non-Greeks first responded by asking, “Why are all these stupid freaks on my feed?” then “what the hell is”Trouser shop?” doing then hilarious parody Videos. Anyway, check out the madness of the #BamaRush and #AlabamaRush tags on TikTok.

This week in the food: How the fries are made at Five Guys

We continue our look at forbidden knowledge and now go to TikToks @Maezthegreat who made a couple of videos that reveal the secret behind Five Guys French Fries. Most shocking finding: you are making french fries right.

Five guys don’t thaw a company-approved starch slurry and stick it in two-day-old fat. You take real potatoes, cut them into slices, put them in a tub of water to remove dirt and starch, then soak them in the deep fryer for two minutes.

You’d think they’d be put in a paper bag and I’ll eat them, but no. Here they are waiting. Then when someone orders something, they are fried again. Once fried, the cook shakes the basket exactly 15 times to remove excess fat, adds a little salt, then I eat them. Then the regret.

Viral Video of the Week: Benny Drama Promotes Gen Z Vaccinations

In its ongoing effort to get young people to take the stupid vaccine already, the federal government has teamed up with Gen-Z influencer Benny Drama. In his role as “Kooper the Intern,” Drama visited the White House this week, wreaked havoc and shot hilarious video Video. In it, Kopper works for press spokesman Jen Psaki. Cooper asks, among other incompetence, whether Olivia Rodrigo is still there and a petrified face psaki says “no”. (Our press secretary is an excellent straight woman.) It ends with “Get the vaccine, ya damn kids,” as you’d probably expect.

As would be expected, the flamboyant personality of Drama reads as “gay” to our nation’s Conservatives who have widely distributed the video. Even the idea that it would prevent some Discouraging people from getting vaccinated so they are unlikely to become gay. Better to inject yourself with bleach like the last man suggested I think.