Illustration for article titled Eat One Half Your Everything Bagel Over the OtherPhoto: Brent Hofacker (Shutterstock)

There are two types of bag eater: those who eat their bagels halfway and those who eat them as a sandwich, even if cream cheese is the only filling. If you’re a member of the second group (like my friend) the following tiny but clever hack isn’t for you. But if you are a member of the first group (my group): welcome, I have a suggestion.

Illustration for article titled Eat One Half Your Everything Bagel Over the Other

The best bagels in my opinion are the ones that have things on the outside. All bagels and onion bagels are my favorites, although I don’t hate poppy seeds. The only flaw with these bagels is that the stuff tends to fall off while you eat the bagel which is a real loss because the stuff is delicious.

So I always examine each half of my bagel, determine which has the most items (there is always a clear winner), and then eat that half over half with fewer items. The stuff then falls into the cream cheese on half the bagel with less stuff, which not only prevents something from being wasted but also corrects the pulp ratio. I think of what is known as “mindful eating,” but I’m not positive. (I also examine each side of each Dorito to see which is the most flavorful, and then eat them side down, toward my tongue.)

If you are a bagel sandwich eater, all is not lost. You can always eat your bagel over something, like a nice green salad or a couple of cucumbers (sprinkled with some cream cheese). Anything to do with bagels is pretty good for foods that aren’t bagels. You can also let any of these foods benefit from the excess.

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